God, that line at the end. Crying at my desk. Thank you for writing and publishing this.

Where is "none?" The only thing worse than throwing up something, is throwing up nothing.

You better watch your mouth, or I will down some tallboys and come to your office to make gentle puns about your name.

I was sitting in the right field stands at Nats park back when he was playing for the Cardinals. The stadium was quiet because it had been a fairly uneventful game, and I’d had a lot to drink, so I decided to heckle him.

A screenshot from Indiana’s Wikipedia page:

Weird. That’s exactly how I fielded every ball in Little League and I could never catch one.

“Sure, we could have demanded he pay us the money back. But that didn’t feel like the right thing to do. Andrew was more than just our quarterback, he was the person we rallied around after we let Peyton Manning go He brought us together: our present, our future and our glorious past. From our point of view, he helped…

The line is with Alexo Athletica, which, according to its site, was founded as a response to mainstream athleisure brands which don’t adequately respect the Second Amendment.

I support Kenny; I support the player protests. Quite honestly, they’re bringing attention to my story. So, let’s talk about that. I’m the son of immigrants, I’m black, I grew up poor.

To co-opt a Bette Davis quote: “Mother always said to speak good of the dead. David Koch is dead. Good.”

Sooooo .... why not just play on the CFL field as it is normally? “Oh no, the goalposts are not on the goal line - it wouldn’t be a true test for our field goal kickers. So instead, we’re gonna play on an 80-yard field.”

Jesus Christ I can hear the Sam Adams in that comment.

Patrick Chung played at Oregon with Jeremiah Masoli.

What’s the mattah, guy? Your icehouse sink inta Winnipesaukee this wintah or sumthin’?

Wow, he’s really lucky, because, while they take drug offenses super-seriously in New Hampshire, they recently repealed the death penalty. Not only that, but hanging was still on the books in NH as one of the possible means of execution, until earlier this year! So, he won’t have to worry about mobs of people…

I was born in New Hampshire and lived there until I was 23. Cocaine should probably be legal because there isn't much else to do. 

Like most people, they criticize in others what they secretly despise about themselves, you fat asshole. 

The Defenechstration of Houston

That’s some JV shit right there.

it’s that Bears coach Matt Nagy is a madman, an Ahab figure, from whom something fundamental was taken