This is the best goddamn thing I have ever read.

Failing to use turn signals causes more accidents than distracted driving, I second your stabby-ness.

two Penn State scientists criticized the paper’s weak ice sheet physics, and said the predicted amounts of meltwater seem “unphysically large.”

Found the SJW!

You are absolutely right. At least smokers have the decency to work, pay taxes, pay into social security and die before retirement. The obese are much more likely to not work and be on disability, therefore being a drain on society. #MakeAmericaSmokeAgain

A good reason to not be on your phone at the urinal is that you do NOT want to be accused of snapping pics of some other dude’s junk in the bathroom.

“Trump... bizarre speech”

For a second I was of the opinion that the keeper could have done better but his vision was shielded by the wall and that was a fucking rocket. Touché, alternate angle, touché.

The gift that keeps on giving.

Fire allowed us to get way more nutrition out of meat which then let us grow bigger brains which helped us think of the idea of the wheel. Fire all the way.

Just goes to show you should never wear a Texas belt buckle at an SEC school.

But are they elite?

It’s also illegal to leave your feet while making a tackle.

/some joke about getting embarrassed on D is better than getting accused of applying too much D

Without a doubt, yes.

For Johnny Football, on the field it’s all fun and games. Off the field? Strictly business.

• Rohto Cool Redness Reliever eyedrops

50-1 shutout

using their Pioneer drones to reconnoiter Kuwait for Iraqi targets and troop movements

Thanks Jim!