Also: Xena was so much better than Hercules.

If you had told young me “You can see Xena naked, but you have to wait 15 years” I probably would have been wary about whether that was a good thing or not. Young me would have been a fool though, because somehow Lucy Lawless in Spartacus was exponentially hotter than Lucy Lawless in Xena.

That’s not new, she’s been converting women into lesbians for decades. Ask any late Gen X/early Millennial WLW who their awakening was, and you’re gonna get a lot of Lucy Lawless and Gillian Anderson.

Oh god.  She’s amassing an army.

YES. She was the fantasy woman of my childhood, and the stunning, sultry vixen of my adulthood. She has definitely aged in the best of all possible ways.

Thank gods Lucy Lawless is still cool.

Anybody this creative could think of several ways, but you can clearly see intelligence gets in the way.

His kids will sit in the back of the van and hold them

Lidded is way better than open, but I wouldn’t trust that lid to stay in place in even a minor collision.

I think eventually most things become terrible for the environment. I’ve read that some of the reusable bags aren’t much better, from a resource perspective at least. That’s why I’m trying to get everyone to switch to cargo pants. It’s like a reusable bag that you wear!

I am old enough to remember that plastic bags were going to save the environment.

People are so irresponsible. Don’t they know that plastic grocery bags are terrible for the environment?!

Unapproved.

Be smart like this guy (seen in line in South Florida):

That’s because nobody has bigger crowds than Donald Trump. They’re yuge. In fact, Trump had “the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration”. However, Trump said he didn’t remember seeing Tiffany there, so he gets a pass on that one.

Exactly. If you can’t find a good chicken place in Tennessee, you’re not even trying.

The “Thoughts and Prayer” IPA will actually be non-alcoholic.

Bump Stock Lager has a nice ring to it.

This sums it up well: