Trump made every aspect of his personality clear long before he was elected president. People who now regret voting for Trump are either stupid or liars. 

Take Jane Scilovati, a Pennsylvania schoolteacher who recently told the New York Times that the way Trump handles issues of race is a “disgrace” and “deplorable,” and that she regrets her decision to vote for him in 2016. “He doesn’t have any compassion or empathy; he doesn’t reference historical facts correctly,” she…

It’s so fucking satisfying to hear her calling out the hypocrisy and non-evidential citing of wives and daughters in these kinds of statements. 

You have to have a brain to injure it traumatically. 

I demand to see the moon’s manager THIS INSTANT.

I’m pretty sure he knows by now that you don’t cross Louise like that without consequences.

And do any of these ultra-black animals include spinaltappus in their taxonomic name? Seems like a missed opportunity if not.

Back in the 1970s there was quite a hubbub over Jimmy Carter’s brother Billy hawking “Billy Beer”. Bear in mind that Billy was a fringe character who had no role whatsoever in the Carter administration, he was just a cheap huckster trying to cash in on JimmyMania, which was briefly a thing in this country. It…

I hope it comes with some sort of slide-wheel anti-piracy device too.

Buddha’s hand citron is a cultivar that is grown because it has a high zest to volume ratio.

Ivanka Trump is the physical manifestation of “the unexamined life is not worth living.”

I’ve gotta go with this little beauty here:

mine doubles as my dining table

If the US military wants to participate in “the memes” etc. (which is gross anyway), then they gotta take the good with the bad. Get the fuck over it. I thought our military was supposed to be tough? 

Listen. If you fill a nice, clean kiddie pool with cool, clear water, knowing that one of your kids is eventually going to ingest some of that water while they’re playing, and then that kid takes a fucking shit in the pool, guess what. The water is ruined. You can’t just be like, “Hey, now! It’s only the poop that’s…

“That’s a cat!”

If this sugar and plastic pile burns down it’ll probably caramelize.

Imagine creating an organization that celebrates conspicuous consumption and unearned wealth and then having either the extreme self-awareness, or the extreme lack thereof, to call your organization One Percent.