Boondock Saints. I remember watching it in high school and it being, in the words of a Midwestern teenager in the 90’s, “totally badass.”

Well, obviously, you’re not an American.

For any who think this is a First Amendment issue:

While no scientific studies have clearly shown a link between vaccines and autism, I’m definitely seeing one between Scientology and anti-vaxxer lunacy.

Those poor Christians! The underrepresented majority. It’s not like six of the nine Supreme Court Justices, 91.8% of Congress, and the President of the United States are all Christian or something!

Huh? He’s clarly upset that a stray throw just clocked someone in the head!

It’s nice that they let you look at Deadspin from jail, Dylann.

He’s essentially the Indiana Jones villain of baseball. That thing belongs in a museum.

Road trip to South Carolina to fucking shimmy up that flag pole to shit on that fucking flag and then fucking burn it and then fucking throw it in that dumb fucking Governor’s face.

Are you fucking kidding me?! If I had a dollar for every time somebody made a derogatory racial comment, realized they were with me, and said, “I didn’t mean you. You’re different”, Bill Gates would be looking up at me on the Forbes leaderboard. And it hurt. Every.Fucking.Time.

WTF? Yes, hearing people saying hateful shit about people you love, constantly having to decide whether to reveal yourself to be one of the people they just indicated are less than human, that’s just a stroll in the park. Yeesh. Sure, it’s a slightly different flavor of horrible, but it’s still horrible. I have to…

I said I’ve experienced more than people I know, not all people of color. I’m not arrogant enough to make that claim. And it is true, I’ve discussed this issue with my friends and family and I’ve had more experiences with it than a majority of them have. But whatever, clearly you want to pull out our Hispanic cocks…

Actually, it’s not all that clear. Hall of Fame voters in 1936 weren’t exactly Cobb”s peers. Then, as now, they were baseball writers, not fellow players. And, baseball writers, as has been demonstrated innumerable times over the years, don’t know nearly as much about baseball as they think they do.

Yup. Those aren’t even the worst ones.

I always kind of liked their sexy ads but I am also a pervert.

One time I was on the way to get a craigslist blowjob and my car broke down. Ed Sheeran fixed my car and sucked my dick.

Also, hearing this dipshit covering “Trap Queen” is as close to death as you can come without having it turned into a Christian Film.

I used to love Bob Dylan’s tracks about doing “E” and raping and murdering your ex-wife in front of your kid. CLASSIC Dylan.

Try Father John Misty's "I Love You, Honeybear". Probably the best white-guy-playing-guitar album I've heard in five years. There's talk of santanic x-mas eves, ash and cum stained sheets, mariachi horns, and disliking white girls who put off soulful affectations. Highly recommend.

Hey, you know those people who really like plain cheese pizza? They also listen to music.