1. I have only just heard of this game

Just checked my calendar to make sure I was living in the right year. I don’t even know what I just read.

i’ve always called a group of teenaged girls a committee. because they can’t do anything by themselves. i know, i was once one and had the same limitations for a while

A whiteness of teenage girls ordering frappuccinos.

I like crows, maybe not as much as some of the other corvidae, but still cool. I looked up what you call swans, who are basically narcissistic assholes, and your choices are herd or whiteness...

This comment is everything wrong with America.

NOPE. Unless they specifically ask you for advice, do not give advice, ever, for any reason. If they’re shitty, welp, they’re shitty, but you telling them how to be better will not make them less shitty, it will only serve your own need for self-aggrandizement.

I was in a Starbucks yesterday and a gaggle of teenage girls, (I feel like gaggle isn’t right for teenage girls. A flock? A murder? A murder.) a murder of teenage girls came in behind me. As I finished my order, the barista (who was a treasure of a human being and recommended a kick-ass fruit sauce for baked brie)…

My cat, who once opened a microwave oven while the popcorn was popping, has more self-control than the caramel lady.

My cat, who once destroyed a floor-to-ceiling lamp with her butt, has more self-control than the caramel lady.

My cat, who once fell off a bookshelf at 3 AM only to land butt-first on my face (catass…

“Her smooshed up face looked like a eager slice of wet ham”

DUDE. YES. Came here to say basically the same thing.

The bartender later comes up to me to let me know that the horrible family is out celebrating the fact that they had closed on TWO condos they bought for each of their children in SOMA, San Francisco.

The best kind of host is a host with serving experience! I can’t even tell you, the day a host turned 19 and was old enough to start serving, they became better hosts in less than a week.

I actually e-mailed her back to thank her for submitting a long, entertaining post that barely needed any editing. I think I made one edit to that thing.

Poor, poor hosts. Man, though: a good host is not a thing to be taken lightly. They’re a rare and precious resource.

I’m sure Guy Fieri carries a “Guy Fieri Parking” placard with him wherever he goes.

I want to kill the family that harassed the host. Hosts are meant to be the punching bags of the servers, not the customers.

Sweet, sweet Casey. You had my attention with the LD language, my heart at your similar dislike for grody frozen lattes, and my sympathy when that hamfisted bitch threw said drink at you. Jesus.

For some reason I kept reading “Ferrari Guy” as “Guy Fieri.”

screaming that everyone in that deli was stupid, because if we hadn’t been to New York we couldn’t know the first thing about meat.