Goodell: Well, of course we didn't watch THAT copy of the video ... duh, portrait mode? Who does that?

NFL press conference

Is this real? A Minnesotan and a Wisconsinite (Wisconsinian?) battling over whose state has the most cultural and economic relevance ... and your guys' trump card is, 'we have more lakes!' ... ?!? Like, the freezing gray bleakness of OUR desolation is occasionally offset by puddles more than yours! We're like fucking…

Because drawing them with pointed legs would be silly ... duh!

As a non-expert observer who's seen the tape and puzzled through arguments from both sides made by commenters of varying degrees of credibility, my verdict on the case against Tony Stewart is: inconclusive.

Right? If you're going list poorly written, derivative drivel among the most influential fantasy books of all time, why not just go all-in and cite The Bible?

Sound. If ownly she kadooda Dublin axint a toord iz well iz da ooders ... Ah yafukkinright

Right? I just don't get this line-in-the-sand belligerence some people have about modifying behavior/language others politely inform them fosters discomfort ... As if there's some grand principle at stake with comporting to the most baseline levels of social decency.

It's awesome that your reaction to somebody asking you to slightly modify a low-stakes behavior at essentially no cost to yourself and with the understanding that doing so will make others more comfortable in your presence, is to hunker down, bitch, and petulantly engage in that behavior even more ... Go you!

Funny/not-so-funny cautionary tale. My wife is due on Monday. About a week and a half ago she was having late-term, pre-labor contractions and a ton of discomfort, so we bundled into the car to drive to the hospital which is some distance away. We promptly get stuck in traffic, and apropos of me wearing my stupid hat,…

Message received! But quick question - how do I make my wife's desperate cries for an epidural all about me?

Because he's sweet and cuddly and he can TELEPORT YOU WHEREVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO GO

In case this isn't redundant:

Meanwhile, in non-First World Problem-related matters, whenever you showboat while chopping off a South Sudanese refugee child's arm at the elbow and punctuate it with a machete flip, expect to be plunked with an IED the next time you venture down the ring road alone ...

And don't forget Benjen Stark. If L+R=J holds, Jon is Fire and Ice, his Aunt Danaerys is Fire and the symmetry could extend to an Uncle who is Ice ... Benjen? Or dead Ned?

The Spirit of Taint Doofus

That'll teach the little fella that Floridians must be ever vigilant in defending their Stand Your Ground rights!

I still say the Essence of Yasiel Puig was when he showed up at the Jet offices for a Vibe cover shoot

Yes. I think 'evil' is almost certainly the wrong term for whatever role Bran winds up playing in A Song of Ice and Fire ... regardless of whether his actions-slash-mystical influence winds up helping or hurting other characters we like in the series ... or even (or especially) if he winds up being an untamed,…

Ah, ok - understood. Thanks for the clarification and apologies for missing the thrust of this post. Can't wait for GoT to kick off the next season!