Lighten up, Thanos

The last three times *we've* met, eh? I knew the Seahawks had some injury and drug suspension issues, didn't realize they'd had to resort to suiting up "BaconVonMapleBar" though

Technically it's 'roughing the passer' in these instances but the affected player has to have a kidney stone

It'll take at least four Skins before it equals the VD tugging

And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say – that the Tight End's small part grew three sizes that play. And then – the true meaning of Football came through, and the Tight End found the strength of ten Inches, plus two!

TJ McDonald wound up getting the last laugh on all the people who questioned his decision to have 'insert dick joke here' tattooed on his palm

Unlike some 'tight ends' currently playing in the league, Davis can at least put 'block and tackle' in his list of qualifications for the position

Another listicle screw up, here it is fixed:

Ha ha - buttermilk chess pie is my wife's specialty. Also, I'm about 20 pounds overweight.

Your right to not have ugly racial slurs used for corporate branding extends only as far as the pre-cancerous skin lesion on my melanin-deficient nose!

So what's your threshold for the number of people who find a term offensive it would take to maybe not use it in corporate branding? If, say, we named a pro football team the '9-11 WTC Impact Zone Charred Corpses' and a few spoilsports complained, should we listen or just laugh off that PC bullshit? Interested in your…

I think you're referring to AlAnon Smith over on the other side of the SF defensive line

No, they're not.

Pretty cool that Washington honored some of the redskins who contributed to the war effort way back when. I also appreciated all the ads for that college fund that helps redskins get an education ... What? You're looking at me like I said something really offensive! Like, an ugly racial slur and not a beloved team…

Less Theismann Moar RG3 OW MY BALLZ gifs

I voted no because look, maybe the butt never 'tested positive' for PEDs but is a butt that's NOT roided to the gills really capable of one-cheeking a football out of the grip of a pro quarterback, even if it was Mark Sanchez? Plus look at the size of the butt when it was 22 versus today - is that natural? Sorry,…

BTW, I found these charts to be very eye-opening and well-presented. Despite the nagging doubts about problems with how yardage is currently credited in football. Last year's Christian Ponder tossing behind-the-line-of-scrimmage balls to Percy Harvin springs to mind as an example of, are the QB's passing yardage…

lol

But YAC is such a weird animal, in terms of who to give credit for it. The simple, and I think very wrong thing to do (maybe for fantasy purposes) would be to only credit QBs with the yards in flight of passes and give the pass-catcher the sole credit for all the yards gained after catching the pass.

The good news is Reddit has cracked the case and identified a depressed South Asian college student as Alex Rodriguez.