Yeah, report them to PETA so that they can make sure the dog never gets injured on a highway. By killing it. That’ll stop the family from abusing it.

YES.

Drew, I am onboard the with the bread and butter restaurant idea. In fact, I would expand that to Mexican as well. Because it seems every time I go out for Mexican, i’m halfway full on chips, Queso and tortillas. Those should just be the meal.

Is there a GoFundMe or something set up for the family of that poor player who was shot while simultaneously having a seizure as Mario tried to get past him? I can only imagine the heartbreak of knowing that he’s never going to come home again.

I still don’t see the red card. What, did he pinch the guy on the thigh or something? Mario is the only fun thing about Ligue 1 right now. And it seems like when he isn’t hurt, they are giving him two swift, stupid yellows, or a straight red for winning the ball against a dude very quick to leap into the air in…

“Super Extreme DUI”should only be invoked when Red Bull or Four Loko is involved.

Great. First there was drunk, and now super drunk. Next there will be hyper drunk, e-drunk, and finally autonomous drunk. When does it end?!?

Above. Stupid drunk is fun and you do things like try to ride a dog. Super drunk is when you puke on the dog and then try to fight the dog and no one likes that guy.

Perhaps we could establish a scale, something like the Michael Floyd Scale of Drunkness. Just a thought.

Oh, man, I can’t wait ‘til this bodyshaming football post gets spliced to Jezebel!

Hat tip for properly using venomous instead of poisonous.

1) Replay value. I can use the sim every day at home.

worst Christmas songs of all time

We are aware of the disturbing actions of an Elite security staff member at Sunday’s game. We apologize to any fans who may have witnessed the incident. We promise that you’ll be able to go back to beating the holy shit out of each other in the stands without such distractions.

Much more adept then Rivers at throwing the long one.

Lotta good masturbation jokes so far. Hope they keep coming.

Hey, at least someone with the Chargers is good in the pocket.

(Read in Gruden voice) Look at the motor on this guy. He gets up in there and starts banging around and BOOM he just unloads. I love the get off on this guy.

Rivers: What the hell is that security guard doing?

“What’s the problem? I was told to stand here, and wear this hat and jack..... oh shit.”