This is funny.

The NFL already torpedoed their own argument when the Cowboys established the price of "M.I.A." at $0.57 million earlier today.

Why take him to the hospital? he's already been fixed.

Hank the Dog stays winning like no dog before him.

This color scheme and helmet is classic. Maybe next year he can wear some tasteless abortion of a "costume" and finally win the puppy bowl.

"Theo. Theo, get a look at this! Apparently this psychologist managed to change the entire culture of a stodgy organization and got them to finally fire someone. Hire this man immediately."

+1

Maybe, if she moonlights for a numbers racket.

+1

[I officially withdraw. To my sole supporter: please donate your recommendation toward marmol heater]

Meh. The artist should probably stick to making fine menswear.

This is very mean. He's still a captain and great locker-room presence. And so what? He won it all in 2012, er, 2004.

[Geez, you'd think I could come up with a better joke]

Who even gets their paper delivered? So your mee-mah likes actual birthday letters delivered through snail mail. Ever hear of a "com-pu-ter" and "prin-ter"?

Glad you're enjoying it. But some rational actors using "old Kinja," may rather not be exposed. So just do this: take a mental snapshot of every approved commenter you can think of and don't ever, ever change it.

This is clever. +1

Knowing Selig, they probably didn't even leave him cab-fare.

"Somebody": "Jurgen, you must see this! It is most incredible. I just watched Greek basketball player great at soccer, because of course."

MLB already has a replay system: If, after nine or more innings, a winner is clearly decided, there must be at least 18 more innings to make absolutely sure none of it mattered.

Go drink hemlock. +1