I love this. +1

"More than anything. Except possibly, the crack of a perfectly stuck home-run, the impossibly beautiful chords of Beethoven, the gentle patter of my children's feet, the voice of my mother, the voice of my grocer, the sound of immanent danger. Then Walter Johnson. Then maybe my wife."

Well, at least she's used to watching others turn something downhill faster than herself.

Wait, are you serious? My criminal defense attorney didn't give me his cell-phone number for three years, and I'm probably his best client.

"Or just add a single pole. Hitting it would be worth two points. If it gets back up, only one. If it tries to speak out to the media about social issues or union interests, cut it."

It's telling that after someone develops a Cavalier attitude, even Cleveland doesn't want them.

Pretty sure his lawyer is now wishing there was some sort of client-attorney privilege.

I hope Mr. Frenzel realizes that climbing atop the podium and yelling "rematch!" won't earn him another gold.

+1

They might be safer?

These guys are perfect for this gig. You just know they have a face for sports broadcasting.

Ha!

Philadelphia's team name continues to grow more optimistic.

+1

+1

Man Wins Biathlon With Snot All Over His Face; Inadvertently Murders 12

Authorities suspected an impostor when "demands" of, "If you don't mind, please surrender at your earliest convenience " went unheeded.

Håvard Bøkko: [Calls all other Olympic flames]
Håvard Bøkko: "Ahem, yah this is Håvard, and uh, you might, erm, want to get tested."
Håvard Bøkko: [Hastily slams down phone]

+1

"tee-vee?"