Oh God, that was terrible. As a parent, the only people I hate more than parents are proud, "intentionally" childless people. Sharting had an excellent commentary on this very topic on Twitter last night.

You know, I have that same condition. The doctor gave me some ointment for it, but it hasn't really made a difference so far.

Jesus. I'm not a movie guy at all, and in general I don't mind Will's stuff, but the Grierson and Leitch reviews are just godawful.

+1

Make liberal use of the cafeteria cereal dispensers

:(

Haha

A very late, but richly deserved, +1

Drew, your ignorance astounds me. They're not as violent as people think. Very few people have ever been killed by one. I, for one, am tired of the bad rap they get from clueless people like you. Enough is enough.

How in the world did you find yourself on TV with Dr. Phil?

Yeah, that's the one. +1

"Oh, God. Can't believe all they have here is Bud Light. There is no possible way this beer could be more foul."

It doesn't make Orioles fans look any better when you consider that the question was actually "Which of these players has the most Ks?"

Oh, man. This reminds me of an episode of this 90s sitcom...ugh...ahh, why can't I remember what it was? This is going to kill me. Jeez. Sorry guys. I'm sure I would've come up with a hilarious way to reference this particular episode if only I could remember the show.

You think this is confusing? The same thing happened when Darvish was in Beijing and bumped into President Jintao.

Wonderful. +1

Listen, I know there's a giant sign on the wall that says, "I want you inside me," but that's just an ad taken out by Alyssa Milano.

While Bell and the Marlins' pitching coaches are mystified by his lack of effectiveness this year, there are those in Miami who suspect that Bell's problems stem from his insistence on delivering all of his pitches using a comically oversized ping pong paddle.

It's a shame that the ping pong ball had to sink so low — selling himself to get smacked around by a rich guy — just to pay his bills.

Jonny: [rolls dice]