Ha!

Adorable Dog Wins Stupid Contest At Reds Game

The Dividing Line is a really great name for this bar, as it is located precisely on the line that separates the part of Chicago where all the douchebags live from the other part of Chicago where all the douchebags live.

Examples of Dolphin misdirection:

Oh man, what did I miss? I was elbow-deep in douchejuice all day at work.

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Hat designed by John Locke

Back in my younger days, I was a janitor at a pig slaughterhouse. I spent hour after hour, knee deep in pig shit, piss, and blood. I was routinely splattered with fluids I couldn't even identify. Spending the day surrounded by pig entrails just became just a part of routine life for me. Slipped on a pig's small…

BAZINGA

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My wife just alerted me to the existence of this stroller, which was clearly designed to appeal to the Deadspin commentariat:

ESPN.com's Page 2 is closing today. What that means for you depends on how old you are.

Comprehensive List of Things Zach Tomaselli Has in Common with Yogurt:

Man, you bastards have been funny the last couple of days. Kills me that I can't join in the fun, but as a traveling vintage microwave salesman, I spend lots of time driving, and it's hard to comment from behind the wheel of my Studebaker.

The 0% figure isn't all that surprising — in years past it has generally hovered around 20%, but Ron Santo doesn't vote anymore.

I'm pretty sure this whole changeover is a direct result of the individual mandate to purchase health insurance.

We soon learned that Tebow himself spiked the deal

I, too, was inspired by a giant fruit to root for the Mets.

My all-time favorite:

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