What about PIZZA HOUSE?

Ever had a bug fly in your ear and camp out? Happened to me yesterday, causing me to spaz the fuck out in front of clients til I jammed my finger in and killed it. It laid eggs in my brain, didn't it?

Who's Tim Tebow?

Drank too many wine coolers before the game.

Why isn't pork belly a bigger deal? People...it's a huge fucking slab of bacon that's been roasted instead of cut up and fried!

TEEF