Unless the Phillies are all in on this season, the smart move would be to trade the Phanatic for a mascot with more years of team control left on his deal.

“Still ugly tho”

My man ZMF got engaged. He found love and told the Lions to fuck off out of his life forever.

As usual, you’re wrong. I would absolutely eat the hell out of whatever vegan free-range single-origin taco cupcakes come out of that. (Okay, maybe not cupcakes. Cupcakes are trash.)

Probably not true for the 17 people at the Marlins game.

C6 and C7 values skyrocketing? You’ve got to be joking. There are like 6 people that care about “tradition,” have the available funds to buy this car and

An indisputably correct take

This is batshit. Even in his diminished state last year, Cousins was a massive physical presence, a gifted scorer and a top-shelf passer for a big man. Despite his limitations, he played with commendable defensive effort (most of the time), and if he stays committed to giving that effort should only improve as he…

So if any of you were wondering what it would take for any free agent to choose to sign with a James Dolan team, the answer is for the other option to be the Islanders. 

It’s not really her fault; some idiot asked her about it. It’s not like she “chose to take this stance” by scheduling a press conference to announce she wouldn’t go. Someone interviewing her asked her a question, and she answered the question presented to her.

If the Knicks can get him, they would be insane not to get him.

That is the meanest thing anyone has ever said about anyone. 

I don’t care how wrong the nomenclature is, I want one. Make it purple. 

I’m glad you recognize this take makes you a total herb. 

Possibly related, the Red Sox shat away a 3-run lead with impressive speed against a worthless Cleveland offense in the 9th last night.

He typed “John Bolton” into the search function and found a bunch of pictures of feckless Hawks.

Today in “human beings perplexingly defending other human beings that were being assholes” ...

Always great when some dickhead shouts “DURR SPEAK ENGLISH DURRRR,” and then his command of the written english language is hot garbage. 

Well, did they?

Shut up, ben.