Method. I’ve used their refills for years because they were the only foamy soap refills that weren’t anti-bacterial.

I just feel like friendships like this end up on Dateline

The thing that always made my brain hurt was the hands free soap dispenser.

I call my back fat curvy. Isn’t that what celebrities mean too?

She really handles herself so confidently. When I saw her perform live she did a bit about Hillary Clinton and some guy yelled “Who cares!” She immediately had the spotlight on that guy and told him to come down to the stage if he really wanted to talk. She even used some condescending baby talk on him. Not another…

Last month, the TSA at Sky Harbor let me take my 83 year old mother thru security and right to her gate without being a ticketed passsenger. Cranky old lady in a wheelchair? They were more than happy to let me deliver her.

My niece flew from Australia to Ireland over the holidays. She had an escort (family friend) from Aus to Dubai, then flew alone from Dubai to London, where my brother in law met her for their flight to Dublin. She was flying on a family pass and the whole thing almost went up in smoke when the airline changed its…

I know someone who had an oopsie baby with a random hookup. Anyway, random hookup dude was on a break due to a fight with his longtime girlfriend. He was obviously stupid about birth control, so like a month after he impregnates my friend, he impregnates longterm girlfriend. He comes to an agreement with my friend…

101 Formations

Did the mom at least give the new kid a chance? Maybe he was much better than her own kid! Upgrades!

Maltese mix? My dog is a Maltese/Bichon/Poodle mix. Here he is as a pupper :)

You’re wrong. It’s clearly a Beyhound.

I was named after a little girl being abused in my parent’s religious cult. So, suffice to say, it’s a regret. But don’t cry for me, Argentina: I took my mother’s maiden name as my first name when I got married, and took my spouse’s last name, because it’s a badass last name. So in a way, I got to name myself, and…

Because when you want hard-hitting perspective about how the world really works, you go to a 24 year old blond who's putting together an audition reel for a sweet FoxNews gig.

She needed the “smuggler’s protection” tattoo. How is the artist supposed to work with this kind of poor communication?

Each of these photos is hilarious if you replace the last noun in their inane commentary with “cocaine”:

I live a mile away from what has to be the most incredible Cinemark theatre in the country. I told both my kids to never give that company money again. Is the company responsible for what happened? Hell no. Are they responsible for how they reacted to lawsuits from shell shocked and grieving families? You bet. It’s…

I like Dr. Bronners but it can get a lil too **spicy** sometimes.