BRAG THREAD COMMENCING:

Hello all,

Well, considering people really were being poisoned by just about everything—their clothing, their drinking vessels, their heating systems, their lighting, their cosmetics, their freaking wallpaper—it seems like a pretty logical extension to fear that somebody’s going to hurry up the job.

WAIT! I thought that rumor was eventually tied to Doug Stanhope? Anyway, it’s an awkward response from Stewart...but if he was truly caught off guard...I feel for him. I do hate the whole, “Do you know who I am?!” vibe of it. It could have been handled better than that.

I am size 16 and I finally just gave up on buying clothes and now use Gwynnie Bee almost exclusively for my work clothing. This service is fantastic and has had a hugely positive impact on my look.

Kelly, if you start your own line of clothing, you could call it “Faircloth: Clothing for ladies who like to read words.” No, I don’t actually work in marketing, why do you ask?

I’m not sure what style of clothing you are into, but if you like dresses may I suggest Modcloth? I am a size 14 and I have found quite a few dresses there that are super flattering and make me feel mucho pretty while I attempt to lose weight...especially the Emily + Fin brand (100% cotton!). Also, ASOS has a…

A phalanx of phalluses?

Yeah. If you’d kept your hot mess of a husband: Alive, employed, managed, fed and clothed and supported and he KEPT stepping out... I can support her and any woman who says, “enough.”

be careful with that metaphor. a hymen’s supposed to break. your ear-equivalent? not so much.

I mean, he looks good, but I feel like for 195k you should be Zac Efron jacked.

I tried to write a post earlier and I just couldn’t quite temper my anger at someone who has clearly suffered a devastating loss and is grieving. I don’t want to be that kind of a bitch.

This election has brought out the weirdest, creepiest, most boorish parts of the American psyche out of the dank cellars in which they were hiding.

a human Kinder Egg whose inner surprise is a tiny pebble of rat shit

A good point. My mom has said that the best part about having children is having ADULT children. She was a good mom to us as kids, but is overtly much happier as an empty-nester whose kids come over for Sunday dinner.

I mean, it’s the least we can do if we’re going to outlaw abortions and provide little to no support for pregnant women and mothers of small children. Seriously. This is actually the LEAST we can do. But it’s a mile better than babies being left in dumpsters.

EXCUSE TO POST STAR WARS RELATED GIFS!!!

• When I sell my Seneca vampire book, I’m using my cat, Veronica’s, picture as my author’s picture. She’s very photogenic.