I'm amazed that this could happen at ASU.

Jeff said that initially, his brother Stan became very nervous when he heard there might be a lockout, but was relieved when he found out this didn't mean his wife had put a padlock on the fridge again.

+1

I see Zira doing all the work on top, while Cornelius is comfortably reclined on the bed. Am I right? AM I RIGHT?! AM I GOING TO END UP KILLING ALL MY CO-WORKERS? DOES THIS MEAN I DON'T GET INTO A GOOD SCHOOL?! WHAT FUCKING LAMP?!

Solis was called in to make the arrest only after it was determined that thief lived in a gated community and Police Chief Steven G. Khan hadn't brought his grappling hook.

And I still hated listening to them anyway. I really did. I tried to give them an honest shot, but no. They're horrid

Goddammit I knew I should have paid more attention in Journalism 101!

we may lose, we may win but you will still be ugly either way.

I am still better than your kids.

I think she has a lot to think about. Some Marcus Aurelius would do her some good.

Even if he is showing some kind of improvement (and I hate that lawyers and the legal community is going to get to make the final call on that; 'spinning' a diagnosis just seems dirty as all hell), it's hard for me to see it as right to file a charge on his current mental acuity and not that of last year.

Is Reebok also going to refund the money I spent on my gym membership over the last year since I fell for the girl in the EasyTone Sneaker ad?

Nothing to see here folks- just a poignant homage to long-time Braves skipper Bobbing Cox.

One good thing came of the rain delay- thanks to Dan, the urinals at Camden have never been so clean.

Epictetus? Really Demi, you surprise me. After seeing you in Striptease, I'd have definitely put you as being more inclined towards the musings of Heraclitus.

Matthew Chidgey sounds like the kind of fellow who has also evolved to ingest his food rectally.

'the fuck?

Not sure if you're talking about the 'Democratic Republic of Congo' (formerly Zaire) or the 'Republic of Congo', but either way the official language of both countries is a rarely-spoken tongue that we English speakers know as 'French'.

Fucking up the code that bad only makes it that much more DELICIOUS.

This.