My tattooist said the same thing. He said he's had big, hulking bikers literally in tears, but never seen a woman so much as sniffle when getting a tattoo.

That's a totally ridiculous thing to say. Either that or you don't actually understand what "playing into the machine" actually means.

Yeah, but the difference is that no one actually thinks Stephen Collbert is an actual conservative Republican or that SBC is a homophobe.

Oh dear god, you compared Seth McFarlane to Voltaire. I'm embarrassed for you.

I just want to say the responses to this comment have been epically awesome. It's so rare to see it on Jez these days. I want to fist bump the lot of you.

Yes, this a thousand times. Unless you have a hilariously self-deprecating cheesy pick up line that will make her laugh her ass off when you deliver it, just stick with a nice, polite introduction.

If you have a friendly relationship with her already, just straight up ask her out to something casual like coffee or lunch. I always liked it when men would just be upfront about wanting to go out. Women don't read minds any better then men do. You sound like an intelligent and kind person though, so I'm sure you'll…

Or it could be that yet again, a straight, white male is making women the butt of the joke. Shockingly women don't tend to find breasts as hilarious and titillating as men do, so his humour exists for other men like him. But if we don't laugh, we "don't have a sense of humour". It's just boring and played out sexist…

Sweet Jesus, that is an amazing movie. Swoon...

It's the same boring strapless dress we've seen about 6 million times for the last billion years. It's not terrible, it's just unexciting and bland.

"Not so good looking"? Jesus, this is why women end up with unrealistic ideals of beauty.

If that's true, Nicholson should be kissing her ass.

What's ironic is that you continue to use the word irony to define non-ironic situations. You're basically Alanis Morisette.

My god, you're right! What Hollywood really needs is more young women with no opinions and no sense of humour who just fake smile their way through interviews and are really just vapid, bland caricatures of themselves.

What. The. Fuck?

So just because the guy dines at the Y, we're not allowed to think he's a total D-bag or we're jealous?

90% of awesome songs are about boning (not a real statistic) and yet manage not to be as creeptastic as this one. Seriously, an itemised catalogue of your lovers body parts, decoupled from her as a human being and then coupled with shitty metaphors is pretty objectifying. He sounds like he's one step away from wearing…

Yeah, why have the most famous naturalist in the world with a 60 year career behind him, when you can have an actress who played one in a movie one time?

A charcoal-lined panic room!