Cam Newton is playing injured and probably has been playing injured for the last 3 or so years. He continued to play, because the Panther’s only other option at that point was...*check notes*...A literal robot who was programmed to throw turnovers and make racial slurs. He didn’t play because he was selfish, he played…

I fig-ured there would be a pun thread, not this

Gravity finally gets its sweet revenge on Newton. 

I made this exact sentiment last week when this was going down and got flamed. I am going to be so pissed if you get a lot of stars for saying this now.

It's NBA. You can score in your own basket

GETTING A HIT IN AN MLB GAME!

Watched a youtube video recently about how season firsthand where the Charges once missed the playoffs while having the #1 offense and #1 defense in the league. It was incredibly depressing.

Watched a youtube video recently about how the Charges once missed the playoffs while having the #1 offense and #1 defense in the league. It was incredibly depressing.

“Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers.”

Probably. I’m tired of the losing World Series Team not celebrating their loss. I mean, you made it to the World Series, that’s awesome!

BE A MAN?!?

The Poop Standard Selection Committee (me) has taken your point under advisement and determined it does not dole out participation trophies.

I always refer to him as Handjob Bob but "Two Tugs" is pretty great too.

I hope that NFL players take note of the lack of empathy people have shown Andrew Luck during this entire process. Don’t feel guilty about hold-outs for more money. Get as much money as you can and get the hell out before it becomes a detriment to your health. 

Andrew Luck’s retirement will only increase the primal urgency of Football Men to find True Football Believers to play football, so that they don’t ever question their faith in it.

I guess you could say Indy's luck has........run out.

What might not suck: They opened a sensory room at Lincoln for for fans with autism and other sensory issues who need to take a break without having to exit the stadium. I know we are supposed to be dragging them but Swoop has headphones on and that’s fucking adorable.

1st letter:

What a cynical way to see the world. You don’t think it meant a ton to those people to meet Wade, and vice versa? We want our athletes to be upstanding citizens who use their platform for good, then we get mad that they do these great things and it’s showcased by a sponsor? Good for Budweiser for showcasing what Wade…

They knew Laura Wagner was going to write a terrible article and that I’d “want” to have a beer to spite her bad take? I watched the full ad this morning, couldn’t have even told you who the sponsor was before reading this article, and still don’t care it’s Budweiser. Why? Because I’m an adult that can appreciate Wade…