more like Astro-not, amirite

Police were never able to nail down the exact cause of death. Should have used glue

+1

The floor is yours, Representative Bayless

Young's favorite route always was the jailbreak screen

I just hope the game doesn't end in a shootout

It will be pretty hard for the tribe to do a 180° on this one, after turning down the free skateboards and all.

+1

This is libelous

Peggy is my sister you assholes!!

+1

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There were 82 private screenings of "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" last weekend in Chicago. For 16 viewers, the price of admission was sadly their life.

Team Doctor: What is the formula to calculate the area of a circle?

Police have a lot of theories about how this situation evolved, none of which involve intelligent design on Swope's part

[/redacted CaptBackslap sprouted the same joke before me]

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No wonder he was fired from his maid job at the Sheraton so quickly

Calling your wife both beautiful and a pig makes no sense until you realize that Donald Sterling is an anagram of Kermit the Frog

On the bright side, it's the first time Hosmer has ever been associated with a hard hit ball