His spray chart indicates a tendency to curve to the right

Jim: And now to our halftime show with Greg Gumbel, Charles Barkley, and Clark Rice Flakes

This all makes a lot more sense when you consider that the police officers are my typewriter's correction ribbon, the wedding guests were my resume's (long) list of professional accomplishments, but I needed to fit the damn thing on one page by striking a couple of extraneous characters

The Royals' ban on rings extends to the clubhouse as well, as I haven't seen a ring on any of the players in almost 30 years.

DeSean: Some of my best friends are in gangs of New York...

+1/2 (for the next 12 hours)

Joe, for the last time, assists are not the same thing as aids

Mulligan is very fashionable and just assumed "No Whites After Labor Day" was part of the dress code in December.

That counterattack was durrbl, D-R-B-L

"If we fundamentally want to try to get the games right and the plays right, then I don't see why they should be excluded."

.

Unlike Ohio State, the athletes at Harvard came to play school today

10 cats, 9 birds, 4 dogs, and 1 amphibian does accurately describe the pet collection of a typical Floridian

Pillsbury Doughboy was a delicious biscuit after getting knead in the head

I would definitely watch an Emu play basketball

If I were Mia Hamm, I wouldn't go anywhere near the NFL, as she's third on the list of prospective Sun Life Stadium financing sources.

Still waiting for one of these Up in the Air / KHL crossover fanfics to stick the landing

Unfortunately he's having trouble absorbing the playbook, because every time I call an end-around he just starts sniffing his own butt.

They do have a spot for him tho on the 40-man's best friend roster.

Being a good anchor dog, his relatives Spike, Buddy, Cookie, Mr. Wiggles, and Gizmo will also migrate from "unknown" origins, to Arizona, and now Milwaukee as permanent residents, and even worse, the state will pay for their public obedience school!