Don’t film this shit people, no one cares.

And filming it, too, no less.

Because if I have to acknowledge the likelihood that my parents had sex, it’s at least better to assume it was dutiful and joyless and only happened the once.

The next time some stranger takes a picture from some celebrity heartthrob in public without his permission and posts it on the internet only for jezebel to write about it and you all gush about it and approve of it, you all should feel that same creepy vibe, because that’s what that is - stalking.

After 8 minutes I couldn't take anymore. Just a bunch of loosely relevant game dialogue clips thrown together over trope filled, mildly stimulating action scenes.

I can imagine this going so, so wrong. What if someone (an enemy, say) got their hand on your remote device and made you orgasm non-stop during an important meeting? What if your boyfriend/girlfriend controlled the remote device and you dump him or her, forgetting they had the remote? What if the silicone breaks off…

You have pretty low action movie standards.

Imprisonment for life, regardless of age, should be the result of this. It's an act of terrorism.

Ironically, that sentence was grammatically less appalling than your comment.

None of the other blue guys seem very interested in helping him out, so either they know he can't be caught, or they're tired of his shit.

The guy running away is my new hero. He is on a pitch filled with professional soccer players who want to hit him and they can't FUCKING CATCH HIM. He is literally running circles around them. Ha, ha. No wonder they lost the game.

As long as both parties are cool with it, I see no problem.

nothing more firstworldproblems than a diatribe about other people's firstworldproblems

I never thought the internet would force me to be #TeamPeriodStain, but here we are.

I don't even think they need that much money. The test would be something simple like "Does this box of Taco Bell Doritos Tacos Locos look appetizing to you?"

Think about how you'd handle this in real life. Would you feel like you needed a "fair fight" against bloodthirsty psychopaths and hellborn beasts?

Oh please expand on cutting weed down with other drugs. I am dying to hear this.

Memes and emojis both made it into the top 8? This is foul. If makeup beats sex I am leaving this site and becoming an MRA.

Here it probably means spike it into the turf or something. In the U.K., do nothing with it for 90 minutes.

Edit: I blew the joke. See below.