Subway has reached out to his agent on his availability.

Don’t worry, guys.  I found a matching thumb donor.  From one Drew to another.

hurt, suspended, or in Cleveland

My girlfriend’s sister had mono when we were all in college. I was terrified I’d get it because my girlfriend was the super jealous type and she would have accused me of kissing her sister or something. And the last thing I’d want is my girlfriend yelling at me because then my wife would find out.

Hopefully she is attached to the backs of every Konami executive now.......

if they’re looking for candidates, i know a guy who has a baseball background as a player and a business background as an exec for a video game company. he’s also got a real handle on social media and can probably procure state funding like a badass.

That’s the MLB.com video player, but I will anyway

Between this and that gawd-awful Benghazi movie, is Jim from the Office hiding some extremely regrettable politics?

“You know how The Last Jedi was all about letting go of the past and embracing something new? Well, turns out our fans actually really love the past, and have a lot of trouble letting things go, so we’re just going to go ahead and remake Return of the Jedi.”

A stew you have going. 

“They forget you've gotta win," said the Cleveland Browns quarterback.

Found him.

There is nothing clean about keeping cummy socks lying around. I ejaculate in to the toilet (usually standing) and then it’s one or two sheets of toilet paper to wipe the residual mess. Wash hands, piss, and go about my day/evening. Only thing cleaner would be to clog the shower drain.

it’s a symptom of a fundamentally broken model of modern liberal discourse, where the thing being asked for is not a better world- that is treated as an impossibility- but instead one where systemic abuses of power are distributed more evenly. a broken-willed people looking up at their jailors and asking them to Hire…

I recently rewatched the whole series, and I didn’t think Phantom Menace was that bad. Attack of the Clones is so much worse. The outdated CGI is way overused compared to Phantom Menace, which relied on a surprising amount of practical effects. Anakin comes off as such an unlikable creep. Padme is rightfully turned…

Oh yes. It ends with Diaz giving up a walk off grand slam to some kid who won a “be a Yankee for a day” contest. 

I’ve been a Mets fan for too fucking long to not know how this ends...

This is fucking hilarious and thanks for explaining it, because I was still at the figuring-out stage of saying her name out loud and trying to come up with anagrams.

Let’s see, articles on Blaster Master, Castlevania II, Hotel Dusk, Evangelion.....
yup, i have a new favorite writer at Kotaku, Peter Tieryas!