You caught me. I am a tourist from Idaho.

I'm also sure that the crew genuinely love her. Which is priceless and probably really good for her health.

I'm basically imagining the food equivalent of this GIF:

Sometimes I feel that people like this go into a place LOOKING to make a federal case out of some small slight. All that agita over a seating arrangement and on top of it they had a $50 Groupon. They weren't going to be good customers anyway. The repugnant and repeated use of "retarded" as an insult makes me think…

These people are dicks and even if they had gotten the seats they wanted I'm 1000% sure they would have found something else to complain about and not left a tip.

I'm pretty sure their success depends on the amount of food they sell, not the number of plates they rent.

Just because people might not be able to eat out doesn't mean they shouldn't have just as much opportunity as anyone else to torment waitstaff!

It looks like an infomercial, all it needs is explosions.

lol. I'm imagining the look on the cat's face. also, imagining a scenario where I'm opening mail over top of my cat.

this feels SO close to an informercial but I'm pretending it's not.

Could be worse. Could have received "Glitter."

Yesterday 32:45 AM

Please tell me Nightmare Phone Girl just left it in her pocket or something...

Us? Cheat? We would never do that.

"Throw some gravy on that sumbitch and sell it for six bucks!!!!!"

If you deny a woman an abortion based on whether or not she consented to the sex that made her pregnant, you don't give two hot shits about the fetus. You care about punishing that nasty, dirty slut for agreeing to have sex.

AKA the "Logic-Incapable Old White Guy Defense of Dominance Act."

I'm secretly an ENORMOUS nerd. Don't tell anyone.

For people who don't know HS, this isn't super shocking in that a really bad initial draw for you coupled with a really good draw for your opponent can mean you are absolutely and royally screwed regardless of the decks involved. Cards help, but they're not the only determining factor in HS. Regardless, Amaz actually…