I like how you he equates CEO optimism with an across the board boost in morale. “Guys, I can’t wait to go to my abusive minimum wage retail job where I am forced to shove credit cards down people’s throats because our CEO is looking forward to scoring a new yacht for his island.”

I hate male junk in my inbox too.

I guess his hands are welcome in Iowa.

Oh, absolutely. As far as I’m concerned, Ivanka Trump is an active enabler of this mess.

As is the small hand...

“until we know what is happening.”

I’ve been mocking him on Twitter regularly. Watching our government right now is like watching a monkey try to fuck a doorknob.

I was kind of hoping that he would attend and die from a rage-stroke halfway through the opening remarks. Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to wait for Colonel Sanders to finish him off instead...

Gohmert is a very special snowflake, who would prefer not to be criticized in public, thank you very much. Also a coward.

This is why I will never feel bad about anyone making fun of Baron Trump, and I hope no school in DC takes him and all the kids around him hate him. Until Trump cares about other people’s kids, I won’t give two shits about his.

Man, i hated rotary phones. You had to start all the way from the beginning if you made a mistake and didn’t dial the reich number.

Of course 44.5 doesn’t want to be dictator, he just wants to restrict a free press.

I think you are closer to the truth than anything. I think he wants to be loved. 

From what I hear she does have a lot of extra inventory on hand now.

He’s a former Navy SEAL. He knows a sinking ship when he sees one.

Deadpool might actually be the sanest person in the Trump administration.

How dare you bring Ivanka into this.

*Mentally says in Cordelia’s voice* Someone’s seen the harder side of Sears.

New slogan for Ivanka’s clothing line explains a lot:

what he’s really doing, is courting disaster, that 45.