She totally lines them up by color! How? I have two cats, and they eat out of which ever bowl they, often switching. I have no power over them.

It’s also gaslighting extraordinaire- regardless of the cause, we all heard and saw him sniffling.

Am I the only one really confused by this vehement denial that he had “the sniffles”?! I mean, sorry dude, the whole world watched you twitch and sniffle--bad mic (?) or not, it wasn’t manufacturing the sound AND FACIAL MOVEMENT of man sniffling.

Oh no, sir. We heard every word you said. Bad mic? We should’ve been so lucky.

I’d love to hear someone tell a white woman that she always has the option to shave her head to get a job. Sounds totally reasonable, right?

I believe that’s not butter...

This part just sank in for me: A FIFTEEN-year-old black lab. Labs don’t usually make it to fifteen. He must have really loved them to stick around and was just waiting for the wedding so he could leave this plane knowing they had gone through with it.

It is so accurate tho. I want Michelle to run for POTUS sooo badly. I can just see them in the Oval Office:

Kid Cudi has a very “who hurt you, boo?” vibe.

You may be on to something with the exercise thing...she should try it...

do you really think telling athe best gymnast alive to exorcise more is productive? There are 8 different types of adhd, exorcise does not work for all of them.

When I was in middle school a guy drove up on my as I was walking back to my school from store. I looked over after noticing him slowly drivig next to me and he was masturbating. I literally froze. I tried so hard to say ‘go away’ but I was too scared. It’s so upsetting to see Jezzies laugh and joke about this. I…

I lost a dear friend to cancer, and I’m still very tempted to say that you’re giving it a raw deal in that comparison.

I’m physically disabled - whenever I see or hear disability being used as a slur, it’s a gut punch. When what you are is considered the biggest insult you can throw at another person and it’s used so regularly so casually, you are made very aware of your position as a second class citizen. I know that a lot of common…

“Joseph Goerbells” has a cheery, breezy ring to it.

Lester transcends such mere labels as “troll”, that is straight-up performance art.

But it’s a ~*marketable experience!*~ You can put it on your résumé, just like an unpaid internship!!

“The benefits they receive far outweigh any advantage the University receives from student-performed teaching or research,”

I just attribute everything I say to Maya Angelou.

OMG THAT GIF SHE IS A QUEEN