I do what I want.

What the hell are you talking about? She is still in school! She was IN CLASS when she heard about her prize.

OMG she accused Levi of rape, and when the book came out and he threatened legal action, she said that isn't what she meant, and it was consensual. AND SHE AND LEVI ARE THE SAME AGE. They were both born in 1990.

"What does Koko think about Ebola?"

Wow.

The whole concept of "slimming" clothes feels so old fashioned, like VHS tapes or fat free sour cream.

Is this going to become a weekly thing? Because it is the greatest and I would like to hear more rulings from the Honorable Judge Kara Brown.

So as the top dog on the Shade court, does that make you Ruth Shader Ginsburg?

1) Women's suiting includes both skirts at pants.

Is it the same? Every single internet discussion about small boobs I see is immediately overrun by gentlemen from the "Itty Bitty Titty Committee" (yes they use that vomitaceous phrase) who want to make it absolutely, unmistakably, douchetastically clear that their boners are way into small breasts.

Ooh I wonder what this here shiny Internet button does? Woops, child pornos! Oh lawdy, now confound it how did that happen? I'm gettin' the vapors, must be all those sasparillas I drank!

I know someone (not voluntarily mind you) who was recently caught for exactly this. He said every. single. thing. Grisham did. It was spooky.

And that was the night the lights went out in Georgia.

Mallory wasn't a cool nerd. She liked super lame things and was a little brat. I was a nerdy kid who also came from a big family and I was totally excited for her but it ended up being more like me screaming at the books in a Tyra rant

You know she's a lawyer now? MAYBE I'VE LOOKED INTO WHERE THEY ALL ARE THESE DAYS, IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL

Jessi is top 2 for sure. Mallory was a drip.

My child molester uncle liked to school my aunt on how perverted she was for enjoying Stephen King books. I have learned to give people who clutch pearls lots of side-eye.

Ugh, I vividly remember these images because Ms. Biel went to the same college as me, and the spread was pretty recent when news broke that she would be coming to our college, so most of the male students had those images on their walls. I just remember thinking even then that it must suck to be a celebrity,…

"Jessica's photo spread was child pornography...and trust me I know my child pornography!"