Tears of joy, natch. God, I love Carlton.

Ah! I always thought he was a creep, and I hated that garbage show even as a kid—I think I just sensed that it was awful religious propaganda.

I don't know why, but Drake almost always seems to wear a 'breaking up speech' look on his face.

The man is an absolute fucking gem.

OH MY GOD THIS IS EVERYTHINGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!@!

Wow, the Friday lady deserves a chip implanted in her inner ear with a constant loop of Rebecca Black singing about the day she doesn't know exists. Also: what happens when she and Sunday Brunch collide?

Let's not drag the beautiful majesty of bedazzled denim and gold bathroom fixtures into this.

I think you should. It matters to you. I've been through having a parent with cancer, and I can tell you that it is okay for you to keep things balanced and to continue to live your life. In fact, it's important that you do. Tell your mom that you will be safe, and then go ahead and go. You're an adult. Also,…

Beautiful.

I hope her response was this: "You forgot 3). We date for a while, things seem like they're going great, we get married, buy a house and have kids. You lose your job and say you want to house-husband for a while, which is fine - I make enough for all of us if we're careful. But when I come home from work the house is…

The same kind of person who would use "You let yourself go," to describe anything other than the release of a balloon with your face on it.

I'm writing a song, made especially for Tinder guys like this!

He lost me at "falling pregnant." Who says that?

Aaah the I-Have-A-Judgmental-Perfectionist-Bitch-Of-A-Mother Club. Welcome new member, welcome.

(PS - your story broke my heart. Stay strong in spite of her.)

Wow, I can't tell you how much I relate to this... and I am a man. My mother is still a fucking twig. And actually I am quite thin, too. She's a mean judgmental person when it comes to weight. And around my house, growing up, all "bad" things were brought back to weight: Didn't get good grades? "Maybe you should spend…

This is exactly what a cute animal video should be. Cute animals. Happy owners. Sounds of cute animals and happy owners. NO TERRIBLE MUSIC!

I'm sending this to my cousin. She insists on telling her toddler that her vagina is called her "body" and now the kid is so confused and freaked out when people use body to mean what it actually does that it is sad and potentially extremely dangerous. Not to mention, it is utterly disturbing on many levels to reduce…

KARA, I AM WHITE AND HAVE NOTICED THE HAIRS ON MY FOREHEAD ARE SOMEWHAT THIN. THEREFOR ALL YOU HAVE WRITTEN IS INVALIDATED. —Signed, Every idiot.

Nope. I didn't say that only black people have baby hairs at all. I said that this specific styling of them is unique to black and latina women.