I watched the last Democratic MSNBC debate and Pete, like everyone else, tended to talk past the time the moderators allotted them when asked for responses and closing remarks. All the others, when they heard the moderators telling them to wrap it up, started to talk faster to finish what they wanted to say. Pete kept…

The trick is for the husband to be the handyman and the wife is the nanny. I guess switching up the roles works as well...

$39 a month?!?!  I guess it really is the gift that keeps on giving...in this case, it happens to be a monthly bill.

“Only an idiot doesn’t change their mind when faced with irrefutable evidence.”

In the immortal words of one of our greatest philosophers:

I have to admit...I’m rather flattered so many people have expressed an interest in my butthole. Frankly, I haven’t given it much thought other than the times I’ve had to drop a deuce, but now that it seems to have a fan following, I’ll have to gather my thoughts on the subject.

I have to admit...I’m rather flattered so many people have expressed an interest in my butthole.  Frankly, I haven’t given it much thought other than the times I’ve had to drop a deuce, but now that it seems to have a fan following, I’ll have to gather my thoughts on the subject.

I guess that’s one way to take the joy out of life...

Are you kidding?  Ants are at ground level.  That's the last thing I need in my butthole.

So...am I supposed to bleach it and then sunbathe my butthole or the other way around? This butthole-specific advice is very confusing, but maybe it’s just me...

Hopefully, it wasn’t raw...

Yeah...I’m going to go with the un-cited opinion of what some internet rando says over the expertise of overwhelming scientific consensus...

Kanye found him some Supply-Side Jeezus (aka ‘Murican Jaysus!):

Admittedly we can go back and forth on the feces bit since if you take any analogy too far it breaks down. However, any climate expert will readily tell you that CO2 in these concentrations in the atmosphere represents significant hazards to human health; an existential one at that. In the oceans, it leads to…

Feces and urine is a waste product that you emit on a regular (I hope...) basis. I imagine if someone smeared theirs on the outside walls of your house, you’d consider it pollution and vandalism.  Use a bit of it and it’s good for plants as manure. A lot of it laying around is an ecological disaster that spreads…

I think you just put forward the most definitive example of damning with faint praise...

No kidding. I hope KFC has since come to its senses, but I didn’t see the hot wings on the menu the last time I went.

2 for 1 bucket meal coupon at KFC.

While I have little doubt that Nunes made that face because he has the unenviable task of licking the boot of a guy who regularly steps in crap, it should be noted that I made the same face when I was at KFC and found out that they stopped making those hot wings I like so much.

One of the cases of the plague was the result of eating a marmot raw. You know...one of those furry little critters you see scavenging for food in alpine mountains like the Sierra Nevada range. I saw lots of them heading up the summit of Mt. Whitney and I never thought for a second that they looked tasty. Think about…