I always heard that oil was just a way to bind the vinegar and spices to the lettuce. Use as little as possible. I’m in the 1:1 camp.

I find the fact that his name is Jay Dee but his nickname is B.J. for more offensive/questionable than the drunken brawling.

Instead, etc. means “and the rest.”

My 12 year old son asked me when I stopped watching “The Simpsons.” Season 7. I am that fucking old.

Toronto:

Are there airlines that refuse ESA’s? I have never had any problems with legitimate service animals but ESA’s and I are adversarial at best.

The most important question is if the emotional support animal is entitled to recline its seat.

Emotional support animals are nonsense.  Take a Xanax like the rest of us.

Sadly, every ship’s mate has sailed.

I say it’s the worst, and recommend that people watch in “Machete order”, skipping over it.

that was an off-the-wall reference but it absolutely worked for me.

look at my comment history. i mostly shitpost. i rarely post anything that’s not sarcastic or trolling.

I said I was uneasy with a politician promoting it, that’s all. 

-have an emergency fund

i went YES GET THAT FAME GRANNY at that part.

Not gonna lie, I lost it at “becoming a rapper”. Live the dream Granny Q.

Joule thief!

Look, she definitely tossed that cat a bit rougher than I would have but if you’ve ever owned a cat, you know it was just fine.

Deep down, everyone wants to know whether they’re a 35 or a 37

Was this ever a question? Really?