*Agreed* plus add some fresh garlic. Lip smackin!

It started out as sniffling around the time the first verse ended. Then it went down hard and I thought I would save some pride if I concentrated on finishing the song instead of crying ugly sobs. By the time I was at “Pain is all you’ll find” I stopped singing altogether & cried into the mike - big ugly sobs. I cried…

I started sobbing in the middle of karaoke-ing Careless Whispers. Then I went home, collected everyone’s pet poop & mailed it to his office.

Craziest thing I’ve done after a breakup? Gained 40 lbs, had sex once and a mental breakdown twice.

Just be sure to not to wear the same shoes two consecutive days. Good shoes last a lot longer following that rule, menaing you can splurge a bit.

I bought a $600 pair of shoes 15 years ago and they look like I’ve only worn them for a month.

My wife only has one and it’s “special occasion.”

This rule is more for quality shoes, not the Walmart stuff you’re obviously buying.

The only crime I see here is the vertical video.

I guessed Robin Thicke

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mostly other women calling her a “dumb bitch” or accusing her of having “bubonic plague,” for some reason

If we’re being honest, I still suck at it and have basically given up being a skilled pooper.

Does anyone else remember “Hot or Not” on AIM in the dial-up days? Even as a 14 year old I knew that shit was messed up.

This is very important: attractive ≠ beautiful. Attractiveness is about being drawn toward someone (usually sexually), while beauty incites admiration of an inherent quality. So the opposite of “attractive” is “unattractive”, not “ugly”. I am beautiful, even though I am not conventionally attractive. The world is not…

4 chan is the devil, if the devil were real, and looked like a cross between Al Pacino and a fruit bat. Also, what the hell is the difference between jelly and jam? I should know the answer, right?

Tracking it no longer involves “a fair bit of math”. I have a very difficult, complex three step system that I use to track every single expense and keep them all organized in categories so I can easily keep an eye on my spending. I actually devised this system based on some tips from Lifehacker.

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Thank God someone finally called out Big Abortion and the massive for-profit women’s reproductive healthcare industrial complex—when will these women learn that abortions are only OK if you’re pressured into it by your married politician lover?

Absolutely. Also, wrap your child in a tight cocoon of plastic wrap before going outside.