she calls unmarried 35-year-olds "spinsters-in-training"

So...

Well, heaven forbid we give men sex for free! Better make him pay for it, like with a cheeseburger combo meal or a Tiffany engagement ring or $300 a night.

5-7 hours is a pretty fucking long time to go without food, especially if you can't sleep on planes and you're a child, or hypoglycemic, or need medication that can't be taken on an empty stomach, or any number of other issues . . .

You know the UK is grey, wet and we have a Tory government but dammit at least they let me decide my own healthcare.

Want an abortion? Sure! Need a therapist? The waiting list is a tad long but they'll see you in the end and they're not going to shove drugs down your throat! Want some contraception? IT'S FREE!

Seriously…

My sister had an abortion at 19. She regrets that perm she got in the 1980's, the first car she purchased and a questionable pantsuit she wore several times. She doesn't regret her abortion whatsoever. At 42, she lives in a foreign country now, has her Master's degree, is a business owner, childless by choice and…

Bebe, you and your impractical catsuit will be hearing from my lawyers.

What. WHAT. WHAT!!!??? Ok, truthiness coming at you all. I DO regret my abortion, and I've got a lot of shame to work through. It was 9.5 years ago. On what fucking planet should I be able to sue the doctor for my feelings about something that I CHOSE!? Never in a zillion years would I think to do that. And despite my…

What this will actually mean: malpractice insurers will raise rates for OB/GYNs that provide abortion services, which in turn will pressure these docs to no longer offer abortions in order to avoid sky-rocketing rates.

[throws ice cold speculum through large diagram of female anatomy]

Could you imagine what we could accomplish if these people would put only HALF of this creativity to use in actually governing the fucking country? GDP, UP! Middle class, much more secure! Children, fed! etc.

OH COME ON!

Only, to be fair, I think they should have up to 18 years to sue for this one...

Can we introduce a law that lets people who wanted to have an abortion but couldn't because of excessive red-tape sue state legislators for "forced pregnancy" regret?

"Iowa proposes law that allows disappointed voters to sue their elected officials."

I've always been the buyer of condoms in every one of my relationships. I'm alright with this. The likelihood he'll come home with some kind of vaginal-wall-ripping "ribbed for her pleasure" that feels like he's sticking a morning star inside of me is pretty good, therefore, I continue to purchase the condoms.

And she went to future concerts. Also, the most traumatic thing to ever happen to you happens on your birthday but you forget which one? Yeah, not buying any of her b.s.

She'd be a lot more believable if she knew how many of her twins are alive.

Confession time: when I was in high school, I called myself a masculinist, and thought that I was the smartest dude in the world for coming up with that. I reasoned that there are significant and serious issues facing men, and the women that fight for women are called feminists, and so we'd need a similar term for…