It’s too bad I missed this one, because I’ve got one - My sister bought a car from a mate of mine, who owns a local mechanic’s shop that I worked at for a time. She bought a Silver 1990-something Hyundai Excel, in silver, for a crazy low price, because my mate did me a favor on it to help her out.

I’m pretty sure that’s the pulsejet from the time he built a giant arse, mounted a pulse jet to it, and “farted” at the french. You could hear it from france, apparently.

No worries mate.

“You stuck a V8 in your old Nissan.”

That’s DoofWagon, not Woofmobile. It’s a reference to both the term “Doof Doof” with is australian slang for loud, very bass-heavy music, and “Doof” as in a “Bush Doof”, which is Australian slang for an outdoor dance party.

Ah, so you are a coward. I can put up with dumb conspiracy theories(Seriously, you can’t even come up with something original or interesting?), I can put up with your silly, pretentious “Urgh, wake up you stupid sheeple” attitude, but I’ve no time for people without even the spine to put a little pride on the line for…

You know what made me faster? Music. Not listening to it in the car, but thinking of everything as music. Makes sense, really - I mean, you often hear people talking about the tempo or the rhythm of a stretch of road, and the timing of things. Why not stretch it all together into a tune or phrase, or match it to an…

When was the last time? That would be Operation Roving Sands, which has been an annual exercise since about 1989, and is consistently the largest joint exercise on US soil, much larger than Jade Helm 15.

I’m sure it will have nothing to do with this legislation effectively ending Uber’s monopoly on ride-sharing services in the state. Nope, not at all. Not one bit.

I’ve got bad news for you, mate. You might want to sit down, it’s a bit of a shock - the United States has been occupying Texas for years already. It’s been a subtle takeover, but Texas has been under the control of the United States since 1845. Insidious bastards, they’ve been occupying you ALL ALONG!

“Yes Sir, right away, we’ll give it to the Australians, they know what they’re doing.”
“Good work, son. Wait. Did you say, the Australians?”
“Yes, sir.”
“FUCK! GET IT BACK BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!”
“I can’t sir, the work order and parts have already shipped!”
Meanwhile...

Oh goddamn yes. I’m a big dude, 6’4”, and if I turn around to reverse in my housemate’s i45, I’m basically wasting my time. Can’t she SHIT out the back of that car, unless it’s at least four or five inches above the boot lid.

Of course he did. He’s Australian, we can surf goddamned near anything.

It looks rather like a Holden Maloo that shrank in the wash. In one end, set the heat too high on the dryer, out comes that thing.

I think the funniest conspiracy theory to come out of this is that the US government is shutting down a bunch of walmarts in the area, to stop people from prepping for resistance, and so they can later use them as FEMA death camps.

Okay, first of all, if your resistance hinges on having an open Walmart, your chances…

Not Fifth Gear, that’s already taken.

Closer to 4.0. They had that big re-jiggering that took them very close to the post-break Top Gear format, back with Clarkson, Tiff(from 5th gear), Tom Boswell and Tony Mason. Set viewership records that were not broken till 9 seasons in for the Clarkson/May/Hammond team. They just didn’t have the break in between and…

Crazy Australian mechanics, however, considered the idea, thought it too boring, and slipped out of the design meeting to do horrible things to a Suzuki Mighty Boy.

I think you misspoke when you said terrible, when you clearly meant “Fucking amazing”.

“Huh is that roaki...Freiburger!”