MOTHERFUCKER. I was down the coast the other week and saw this dude walking around, I just thought to myself "Fuck, that dude looks like Tuerck. Wierd" and just kept walking.

"Actually sometimes people do, they never know my job title."

It would please you to know that back when I was cabin crew, I made the effort to pick up a bit of jive just in case someone made the joke.

With me, it used to be:

If you're trying to crack a funny, you get a blank stare, and a slightly delayed smile.

I'll be perfectly honest with you, if people can't even take their poop-filled nappies, candy wrappers, and other assorted detritus with them now, I'm pretty sure they're not going to bother if given the extra entertainment option, as it were.

I will bet you dollars to doughnuts this dude gets crop dusted on the reg if this is how he carries on.

"Do they know my job title and use it properly?"

No, but I'm not coming into your workplace and demanding your services. If it did, then you can bet that I would.

And of course, as such an experienced flyer, sir, you'd know that all of the things you're complaining about are legally mandated by the FAA and not actually…

Well, personally the reason I disliked being called a Stewardess is because I'm a six foot four inch Australian guy. Yet, despite the different cut of jacket, tie instead of scarf, oh and the fact I'm very obviously a dude, you still get the occasional person. Some of them even think it's funny, so I tend to let that…

You know, I once argued with this goofball on another flightclub post, who claimed to be a US pilot, and tried to tell me that all US commercial pilots are making 250K+ a year. Needless to say, it wasn't very believable that he was a pilot.

If I bought this, and then proceeded to get a job taking care of a national park, would that make me the Leone ranger?

I'm trying to get off the smokes right now, I tell you what, just the words cold turkey are giving me the sweats.

Hot turkey? Not often. Hot chicken, hot roast beef, hot lamb etc, some hot plum pudding and custard for afters, hell yeah, and wash it down with hot tea and coffee, with beers on the beach later. But we're not a nation that's too big on turkey, and certainly nowhere near the US's national obsession with it.

I know you're having a bit of a laugh, but still, here's a quick glossary.

Certainly, but not solely. We cannot limit ourselves with these labels, and instead grow beyond them, so that instead of stagnation, our circle-work becomes tighter, our burnouts smokier, our track-work quicker, and our hooning more... hoony.

I mean, christ, I went to a ute muster for laughs, and there were dudes…

"all her best friends, like us, here at Jalopnik, call her Liz."

Let's hope Baby Jesus doesn't read a comic with Nightcrawler in it, then.

"The dirtiest Ford sound ever."

Good luck. Anybody short of the Incredible Hulk isn't getting those doors open in flight.

She's certainly not dumb by any means. I have a friend, works for the gossip section of a major news outlet, who has had the opportunity to interact with her on multiple occasions, both professionally and not - apparently, she's actually surprisingly smart, and far from the arrogant socialite persona she puts forward…

Surprisingly, she's actually pretty passable as a DJ, and getting better all the time. Which is no surprise, when you think about it - She's got the coin for top notch equipment and teachers, along with the connections to be able to surround herself with basically whoever the hell she wants in the music industry. Word…