Awarded the Dennis Miller Honorary Doctorate for Arcane Commentary, 2016.

ok, on this one there’s dickery from both sides. The little boy on the bike who thinks public roads are his own personal race track should have had his license suspended at most.

I have respect for law enforcement, but what happened here does not paint cops in a good light.

You are all so wrong it’s incredible. I’m just going to assume that all your partners are bad at eating pussy, because when that’s not the case, 69 is fun fun fun

Fuuuccckkk. That’s some crazy shit. Like, all of it: prayer in PUBLIC schools (you want your kid to pray in school? fucking send them to a private, religious school), people barging in with cameras, all of it.

Man, it's hard enough to find ONE partner...

The answer to that- there would have been a lot fewer wars fought in his name for starters.

Really hate her stupid, pro-theocracy rhetoric.
(and her stupid evil face).

Since a Grand Jury doesn’t bring a sentence there should be no double-jeopardy to worry about no matter the case. It seems unlikely that a second jury would be brought to consider most cases, but I think they can legally do so..

Really, does that mean you are going to leave your damn hands off of my constitutional right to an abortion or birth control?

Thank you! Maybe she should blame the war mongering members of her own damn party who are the real reason her son was there to begin with. *cough* Bush/ Cheney *cough cough*

We absolutely need to have better systems in place to support vets who come back from the war carrying the enormous mental, emotional, and physical scars of combat.

Their kids creep me the fuck out.

Referees are just like cops. Angry pieces of shit drunk on authority. Stories like this are why I always side with the occasional coach/celebrity who gets kicked out of a high school game for giving the refs a hard time.

Matt Damon will portray Lynch in the forthcoming film about the Seahawks running back, The Marshawn.

From the moment Obama announced the executive order all I hear is people saying that this will make it harder for law abiding citizens to buy guns and the rape victim on CNN said it’s just another hoop to jump through. I don’t understand that rationale. The order puts the onus on the seller not the buyer. This is not…

we do not have to be a fear-ridden country

Wait. If I refuse to carry a gun (I have no firearms and don’t plan to have any), then I’m a coward? The “Home of the Brave” only applies when everyone is so pants-shitting scared they can’t go for a gallon of milk without being armed to the teeth?

My driveway is so avant-garde.

"She opened her top and showed them her boobs, which Jennifer says were completely covered in 'the most beautiful angels and beautiful butterflies and baskets of flowers in pastel-colored tattoos.'"