Actually, she had zero implanted. Embryos are transferred, not implanted. If it were possible to implant embryos in a uterus, IVF would be much more successful than it is now, and infertile couples would be much happier.

Happy birthday, and thank you for letting me know that I am not the world's oldest Jezzie! :)

This has been around since at least the early 90s, and probably long before that.

Is that your closet, or the store? I hope it's the store, because even if those shoes were $10 each on average, I'd estimate you have at least ten pairs per shelf, and eight shelves. Maybe if you had saved that $800, you wouldn't have to eat so much Top Ramen.

...and it took me all of five seconds to find a video of DeadMau5 trying to make music with a Speak & Spell. The Internet is a vast and strange place, I tell you.

Hey, don't denigrate the Speak & Spell! That toy was freaking awesome and was the highlight of my childhood. I credit it with being the beginning of my career as a copyeditor.

Holy crap, my kids could wreak so much havoc on my bathroom with this.

There is nothing wrong with teaching tiny kids to say hilariously creepy things. At least, I hope there isn't. My kid spent the entirety of her third year of life going up to strangers in grocery stores and intoning, "I see dead people" and "Red rum. Red rum." It was awesome.

"Over 50% of children in India have faced some form of sexual abuse."

If that is not the headline on [Fox.com] right this second, I'll eat my hat.

When my daughter was about a month old, she suddenly started bleeding out of her belly button where the umbilical cord had been. It was only a tiny bit, but my husband and I freaked out, and I took her to the pediatrician. He said, "Um, you only saw blood, right? Not, like, feces coming out of her belly button?" I…

This article is old, but it's worth reading—you can get all kind of fungus, hepatitis, and other diseases from poorly applied acrylic nails. It seems silly, but you really do need a properly trained person to put nails on people when they're doing it a dozen or more a day. It's one thing to do it at home where your…

That is not true. Only Oregon and Utah allow unlicensed midwives to attend births legally. The vast majority of midwives are registered nurses with years of advanced training who carry malpractice insurance. Many of them are only allowed to attend hospital births because of their state laws, but if they do homebirths,…

I think you were supposed to assume that all the Australians tragically died in the crash. Only we Americans were able to survive a horrific, massive plane crash. :eyeroll

Clearly, you need to add True Blood to your TV schedule, because although it has issues, Lafayette makes up for them. He is fucking awesome with a side of badass.

That sounds like an excellent version of attachment parenting to me. :)

There is a *vast* spectrum of attachment parenting. My husband and I consider ourselves to be attachment parents, and we have never once slept with our children. We kept them in our room for a few months in a sidecar by the bed. I breastfed because it was important to me and far cheaper and easier than formula. We…

Attachment parenting was a response to the old things parents were taught: Feed your baby on a rigid schedule so they won't be demanding or fat. Make sure it's formula: Breastmilk is dirty and unscientific. Never, ever snuggle with your baby so they won't be spoiled. Hit your children if they are bad. Make sure that…

That's absolutely NOT what it means—it's a very poorly written sentence. It means not carrying your baby around in a carseat in the mall, leaving them strapped in it for hours at home, etc., when the baby could be in a sling, pouch, parents' arm, crib, and so forth.

My mother-in-law has been an elementary school teacher for nearly forty years, and when she's not inspiring young minds, she loves a hilariously dirty joke. She is going to *love* this.