My guess for next week:

I think it’s less discouraging drinking more water and more just getting rid of myths that people hear that make them think that they need to drink more water. Like the first one — some people think they need to drink exactly 8 glasses of water, so they’ll count them out and drink all that water, whether or not…

I love that Galaxy Quest was more thought out than this dung heap.

I like big probocises, and I cannot lie,

1. Hit

Sadly person A has recently learned person B has been sleeping with his wife who is person C, and person D is his mother in-law. So person A shoves person B off the edge of the ravine, crosses the bridge in one minute, then uses the torch to light the bridge on fire.

Stop trying to manufacture outrage. There is nothing wrong with the wording, and it's obvious who this product is intended for.

Sounds like the the officer believes the cops that arrested Freddie were negligent but did not intend for him to die. That's not that crazy of a limb to jump out on.

All I see is a bunch of mentally ill people who deserve to be treated at a proper psychiatric facility and not beaten up by a bored 1 per center.

I guarantee Tebow is 5 times the man you are Drew.

Yeah, because an Englishman playing A FICTIONAL FUCKING SPACE ALIEN is exactly the same as a Japanese actress playing China's greatest patriotic historical heroine.

Am I the only person in the world that doesn't hate 'Last Stand'?

Whatever, Jezzies gonna come for me but.

Screw it, I'm just gonna come out and say it.

How'd you do in AP "Don't be a Fucking Dick" class?

Yeah, in practice those things don't tend to end well. (Being how WWII started and all) But for example, is it a bad thing for Native Americans to work to maintain their culture, their language, their heritage? Do you disapprove if two Native Americans choose to start a family with each other instead of with someone…

Pro-tip: no one is honest about parenting on the internet. I'm sure you can see why.

Listen, I'm actually really sensitive about this and rather than be defensive I'll just go into more detail: I know that in those moments I am not trying my best. I'm reacting out of emotion and a need for control. The stresses we are dealing with often get the best of me. Of anyone. I'm not perfect all the time. When…

I enjoy how midway through the article a critique of one resolution is "its untestable," as though that isn't a problem with the others.

No, that's not a good way of handling it. That just spreads more pus around. And no doubt her inlaws are now concerned about who's joining their family.

If you're a grownup (and if you're getting married, you should be one of these) and you don't want to invite people to your function, don't. That's it. Full stop. If…