Is that a cameo by Jason Robert Brown at 1:15?

Please provide video evidence of this.

Does it make noise when you press the red button on its paw? What does it say? I'm dying to know.

There are all kinds of calls for "vaguely ethnic" actors. Yep, that's what they're called: "vaguely ethnic." (Translation: "brown but not TOO brown.")

There's often a pretty strong correlation between high medical bills and procedures that will be confusing, distressing, and painful for the pet (chemo, dialysis, etc.). "We can't afford this" often goes hand-in-hand with "This would extend Fluffy's life but make her MISERABLE."

No, that is the standard amount people who are not Awful Human Beings tip.

P&R reruns got me a through a very stressful summer: I moved in with my now-husband two weeks before our out-of-town wedding. I had P&R playing on a constant loop while I packed and watched it while I sat in my box-filled apartment alone, awaiting the packing-up-the-truck day. It was a warm security blanket during a…

I think nail polish looks great on everyone, men and women, and everyone should wear more of it. Nice nails for all.

Where is my shit? I have a dog in the car.

That kind of thing would actually be really hard to enforce, though. Does that mean the molester could never live in an apartment complex that had any kids in it? Never go grocery shopping? Never go to a family event even if watched like a hawk?

Not the slap chop!!!

Thank you. I don't understand how this is a debate. Never in any adult interaction is hitting someone an appropriate response. It's not appropriate when I ask my spouse to do something and he promises to do it but then fails to get it done, it's not an appropriate response when one of my employees breaks the rules,…

Indeed there is. I have a third nipple in one of my armpits. Freaks of the world unite!

If he says "I'm hungry" he really means he's hungry, and "Also, I'm hungry" could be added to all those other things. Because teenage boys are ALWAYS hungry. :)

Whenever I get a refill of my birth control pills, and the pharmacist asks if I have any questions about my medication, I'm always tempted to say, "Nope, I just keep putting 'em up my butt." But then I think, Nah, I bet he's heard that one before.

Yes, that made me WTF? We don't take Grandma out back and shoot her after her eightieth birthday party just because she's gettin' up there. My husband doesn't threaten to put me down when I have the flu.

A lot of people have to go to NA because it's court-ordered. I think that's messed up; one can't be forced to participate in a recovery group. But that's why people come to NA meetings high. But if a 12-step meeting bills itself as "open," that means anyone can attend. I'm in OA but if I really need a meeting I'll go…

I think bragging on your SO is totally fine if they're doing something hilarious and gross. "He brought me flowers #soblessed!" Gag. "He wrestled our toddler to the ground, pried her jaw open, squirted in penicillin, and then remained when she sneezed in his face, spraying him with pink flecks #soblessed!" Gold.

I want her manager to be my life coach. He is amazing and makes everything better and can really calm a gal down when she's in a crazy mood. #TeamGlenn