Yeah, we wouldn’t want to do something Kobe can’t do anymore, like jump.

Would an asshole handpick his own nickname?

this joke would have been funnier if it had been told 10 years ago

Pretty sure Rovell would have fucked it up even worse. As if anybody would invite him.

And now a reading from the second tweet of the apostologist Steve to the Philipians...

He should write an apology Letter to the Philippians.

That’s the hot Duke on Duke action I’ve been waiting all year for, with a bonus Duke posterization as the chaser.

Dear ‘85 Bears,

Ahh, shit. I think I screwed up...

Fawhk Him.

Bah Fuckbugh

I figure about half of this is news: Everyone hates the stealers, because fuck those fucking fuckers. But if they have a particular issue with the Bengals, go Bengals.

And smugness about snow. Nobody knows how to deal with snow except Minnesotans. Usually this is a claim made by a transplanted Minnesotan right before they eat shit into a snow bank.

Also people from Arkansas don’t go out of their way to tell everybody how nice they are. (which is a complete fallacy)

They’re turban’ up all over!

If you’re surprised by this story’s geography, you’ve never been to Minnesota in an election year. Dear god, every little town you drive through, you see hundreds of coded racist signs like “VOTE YES ON VOTER ID BILL [whatever]”. The only thing separating Minnesota from Arkansas are the weather, accents and tall…

Its a tourist attraction. Half of the people at the games don’t know where they are, let alone what inning it is.

Most whiny, pathetic, fair weather fan base in sports. You should hear my office this morning. “Blah blah trades, Zobrist OMG we’re going to win it all. This is the year.”

I’m most impressed he managed to oust Castro.