I find it awfully hard to believe this is the worst streak Andy Reid has ever had to deal with.

This will all come to an end when the colostomy bag explodes on a naked bootleg.

I actually really enjoyed the Cardinals’ book. I mean, there’s a lot of senseless violence and it has some questionable things to say about black people, but the prose is spectacular.

Maddon is full of 100% Certifed Angus bullshit. His guy hit Holliday square in the ear with a fastball, and then his team got the benefit of bench warnings (foreclosing any consequence-free brushbacks of any kind). Then Rizzo, who gets hit more than anybody else because he stands on top of the fucking plate in every…

I mean, it’s a funny line, but moving us to the metric system is 1000000x more beneficial and sane than anything anybody uttered on stage last night.

Wait a minute, Barry. Doesn’t throwing Eli under the bus stop the clock here?

This article could not be a bigger, more petulant, wet blanket. I voted against him twice (yes, it was a vote against him), and obviously don’t view his presidency favorably. But he was awesome in the few months following 9/11, and this moment was a highlight (when I/we still needed one) that still gives me chills.…

So apparently the Steelers do have someone that covers tight ends.

You spelled “dick” wrong.

I know the NFL rulebook is long and long-winded as fuck, but I did not expect to see the word “disconcert” in it. I interpret this to mean the inside linebackers can’t make eerie howling noises at the opposing center in the hope of making him shit all over himself and his quarterback’s hands.

I’m so tired of Ben Roethlisberger trying to shove his shit down people’s throats.

“Maybe it’s just an unwritten rule.” Great, let’s make football more like baseball. We should check with Brian McCann to get final judgement on this.

My wonder at this point is if we will get through a single NFL game this year without a stupid, contrived mini-controversy to keep everyone consistently talking about the fucking NFL. Trying to enjoy this league is such a chore.

It’s rich that Memphis fans feel jilted by Coach Calipari when he’s the sole reason they’re even on the periphery of being relevant. Say this about Kentucky fans - who are collectively the most insane and irrational fanbase in the country by a wide margin (disclosure: I was born and live in Lexington and bleed blue) -…

If Cal stole Xavier, he did a shit job of it. We got stuck with his ass of a brother CJ and, even worse, their terrible dad, Carl, who still treated his kids like they wore diapers. Not sure why, because to him, their crap sure didn’t stink.

Calipari is shady, but damn, Clearinghouse cleared Rose for initial eligibility. Anything found after that is on them.

Also, I’m not sure why Memphis fans should give a shit that Calipari has the most honest arrangement in college basketball?

Fire emoji.

How can fans and community trust a man who doesn’t use Oxford commas?

And yet, she does! Could you complete that salmon ladder at 3:30?