We received an actual sex toy in lieu of cash and I was still TRES pleased.

Why gifts? Give cash. Cash for the honeymoon, cash to shore up how fucking expensive this party is, cash for sex toys, cash to buy a house, cash cash cash cash. Why would you give someone a fucking thing for their wedding when cash is both chic (fits in a cute card, looks good with your dress), and useful.

I tried to find the video but couldn't. :( Super simple apartment. She spent the most time explaining her recycling station.

"By science I mean carefully selected, and properly funded by oil companies, heavily biased scientific articles that fit my corporate sponsors' bottom line."

My only advice is to get connected to other local gardeners who can share tips and resources specific to your soil/weather etc. When I had a house I found some groups on fbook and they were so generous with good advice and free plants they'd divided and extra soil/mulch/random other materials. Plus great way to…

On the bright side, the "religious liberty" bill that would have allowed OK businesses to not serve people if doing so was against strong religious convictions? Failed.

Ugh they have such a cooler nemesis than me :( :( :(

I would say only about 0.1% of people can be your soul mate. Which means 7 million.

The day I suck a man's dick for any other reason than because I goddamn felt like it is the day every single one of you needs to put a fucking bullet in my head.

#NotAllCheeses

Every horror story should start with this.

maroon five ruined this

This picture is photoshopped. She probably has pores, zits, stretch marks in real life like anyone else. That said, she does have a nice figure.

That's what they did to Margaret Cho and probably countless others. "Oh, this is based on your life, it's so great, you'll be perfect to play yourself in it... if you lose 20 pounds."

eh, I'm very pro- any aesthetic that doesn't involve being "cute" or "appropriate" or god forbid "flattering"

I once made a girl cry because she got breathe tattooed on the inside of her wrist and I said, "so, you have the same tattoo as Lindsay Lohan?" and it turned out she had gotten it as a tribute for someone who had died of what I can only assume was an asthma attack because why the fuck else would you get that tattoo.

Madge I'm really happy for you and I'm gonna let you finish, but Częstochowa has the greatest Black Madonna of ALL TIME.