That “tugboat in a swimming pool” line is some tremendous imagery. Is it too late to nickname him “Tug?” I’ll bet he’d love it.

That is precisely why he’s staying. Looks like a small typo, but an important one.

What shape do you call the guy in the last video? Asking for a friend...

The answer we were looking for was “helming.”

Appears to be sleeping on a what?! I know that haircut is a little off, but there’s no need for name-calling.

Look at this guy, tugging himself off for an entire article.

Yeah, DPD has better things to do. Like shooting into moving cars, tackling pregnant women, shooting dogs, and stealing the property of innocent civilians.

This is why I love sports. Just hook it up to my veins.

I hate to be that guy, but I’ve met Orlando Salido. If you didn’t know him and stood next to him, you would not be intimidated. He’s a featherweight. He’s 5'6" and weighs less than 130lbs.

Can somebody call his wife and have her check on him? This is clearly a cry for help.

My mother and I have a method all our own, for both movies and food. This method requires us to expand our horizons and agree on nothing, it’s a win-win!

Well, maybe not “never” put on airs. There was that one time he put the air of ‘sexual predator.’ Like a good ol’ country boy! Just goin’ out and takin’ what he wants, not waitin’ for it to come to ‘im!

In the stands you just look to your left and look to your right. If one of the folks on either side of you weighs 400 lbs or farts every time they stand up, you’re in the US.

Matilda would like a word.

Imagine the blow to the healing process if Ki-Jana Carter turned up dead.

And you.

Hobo Kelly says:

That face is universally recognized in Boston as “black man just needs a goddamn cab.”

Judging by the mugshot, it looks like 40 pounds around the jowls are all that separates fan material from practice squad material.

Game recognize game.