I DON'T LIKE GIRL SCOUT COOKIES.

I hate thin mints and this is the first time I have ever admitted that to another person out of fear for my life and my freedom.

I used to eat my house rabbit's yogurt drops. They were dee-licious.

"Sign me right the fuck up. Not only are oatmeal-raisin cookies delicious while lulling you into a false comfort that you're eating something healthy (haters to the left), but yogurt chunks make anything better. I am ashamed to admit that when I had a hamster, I would sometimes eat her yogurt chunks because they were…

Marilyn made those hardcore resolutions and look how she ended up. We can't go wrong with our resolutions.

I've always loved this story. This is what gave me courage to manually ease discomfort when I'm constipated.

Me too, but I also wish I could believe it was intellectual curiosity and not a constant attempt to overcome a sense of never being good enough, which is heartbreaking.

My resolution last year was to eat more brunch. I highly recommend it :D

I really wish she got a bit more credit for having intellectual curiosity.

This article has inspired me to make a resolution to eat pancakes tomorrow. Thanks, Mark.

And again, there is no crime here.

Also not a joke: Panda Express is both better and more authentic than any Chinese restaurant I've found in Pittsburgh.

Chicago doesn't count, it's actual civilization.

Seriously, have you never been to Chinatown in Chicago? I mean, this is the Midwest too.

This will come as NO surprise to anyone whose ever ridden a Chinatown bus. Which essentially double as vehicles of food transport.

Oh damn it! I had Chinese food for the first time in over a year just a few days ago. Now I'm going to have food nightmares for weeks. Gah!

Obligatory pu pu platter joke.

As someone who has been recovering from Chinese food caused food poisoning since Saturday night, fuck these guys. Round them all up and burn them at the stake!

• A rodent's nest with multiple rodents in a plastic-lined box in a cooler that had thawing rib meat on top of melons.