I mean, even without any sort of body judgement on anyone, I find it absolutely fucking amazing what the modeling industry in general thinks constitutes "plus-size." Because, honestly, most of the plus-size models I see are like average people, which is absolutely bonkers.

These campaigns always crack me up. Hey, everybody, we are going to put one - just one, we don't want to do anything too crazy - hot, young, average-sized woman in our magazine to show how we are totally open-minded and inclusive of all body types and all forms of beauty. We are saints!

nooooooooooo. I don't even like meat that much,. Can't I just eat regular tofu? Bleargh.

TCHQ here,

I mean, idk but having so many corgis that I could conceivably trip on one seems like the opposite of a problem.

I think that's fine.

Gabi's parents have Nationwide.

Because people who live in nice houses with front porches and well-manicured front lawns always make good decisions. I imagine their whole world is just one good decision after another.

Not defending keeping a gun where the kid could get it, but it's called poverty.

If he's black, he'll be tried as an adult.

Beware of sketchy shops that promise a snail facial but what you'll get is a guy in a costume trying to masturbate onto your face.

I've been considering a cat massage business, where people pay hundreds of dollars to come to my house for the privilege of me putting my various-weight cats on their backs.

If aluminum, raw eggs, and dead fetuses will keep my asthmatic ass from getting pertussis, then sign me up. IDGAF.

While at the bar in the front room of the Tribeca Tavern, I noticed Mario Batali talking with a small group. As I rejoined my friends in the back room, I mentioned this sighting to my foodie friend.

My office is on a shared floor in a rather fancy pants office building in Las Vegas. This is a nice building— a famous tennis player has an entire floor and even our floor is regularly peppered with interesting characters walking in to meet with random businesses. One day, the secretary quietly knocked on my door,…

It's too late to edit, but I just remembered that P. Diddy and his entourage almost knocked me over when I was walking stilts one time.

I was waiting tables in college at an Italian place and got to wait on David Letterman. My nickname at the restaurant was "I'mSorry," if that tells you anything. I was always running into people, or they would run into me, then I would say, "oh, I'm sorry!" It was pretty much my go-to phrase (I think I'm over it…

Oh, and Meryl Streep offered to carry a rotisserie chicken out of a grocery store for me because I was back home visiting after my mom had a heart attack.

LUND: But what about all the field work I did?

""Hi, I'm plain in feature and certainly overweight, and I'm here to pick up my dry cleaning."