*sigh* shades of high school over again. I'm female, but could never hit the top three notes of the alto range... well, I'll just be over here singing Warren Zevon karaoke, I guess.

I like my coffee like my men. Weak, not strong AT ALL, cold, bitter...

May this become the rallying cry of all plebes* who still eat gluten: I SAVE BREAD!**

Don't lump them all in together, they comprise a family of many individuals and I'm sure there is some love there, but can I get a slow clap for Anna/Chickadee who is calling her mom out on her bullshit, who is encouraging that her own name be put out there as the one who the molester attacked so that this isn't…

It's from Flava of Love and just seeing this gif makes me wish I could marathon that show all over again.

Haha, I do Black Friday by staying at home in my pajamas and not answering the door or the phone.

If this means I never have to see another nude platform pump, I'm all for it!

I see a lot of tittering about the phrase "death to the extremists" and feel the need to clarify. Someone from an Islamic culture, please correct me if I'm wrong, but "Death to" just translates as a common, general, household curse. We might say "damn these fruit flies!" in English; an Islamic person might say "Death…

fingers crossed they try this on a windy day and it blows back in their own faces.

Straight out bragging here. I buy boxes of full size candy at Costco and give them all out. I live on a corner in a really nice house and light up the yard with inflatable ghosts and spiders and pumpkins so everyone knows there is candy here. Lots of kids get driven to the neighborhood (we see the cars) and I have a…

Oh Penabler. I want to take you to a diner, buy you a slice of pie, and tell the server how great you are.

Meanwhile, I'm the most published person on the planet.

So— yes, "that's throwing like a girl" is hella badass, but I really love her close. "Sincerely, YOUR daughter" (emphasis mine). America, take note.

9, actually. They forgot to count Bruce.

First we get a snarky article, then a passel of snarky comments about Arizona. I've lived here 23 years, I am a Democrat, and I'm also darn sick and tired of attacks on the state where I live.

In Soviet Russia, birth controls YOU.

Here's the email I sent to Ms. Lesko earlier (fyi I am not an AZ resident, just fudging the truth to make a point):

How can you be so sure that Marilove isn't working to improve her state? I live in Arizona, and there are a lot of people here working hard to make Arizona a better place for everyone to live in. I mean, I know you were just being flip, but when you make comments like that, it can be really disheartening for all the…