One time this guy and this woman go out on a date, and they’re driving down the road and he pulls out a pack of cigarettes and offers her one, and she says, “No thanks, I don’t smoke. I’m a Sunday school teacher.” And they drive a little further down the road and they come to a bar, and he asks her if she wants to…

Duane Allman, may his soul play on. (I’m old, and a huge ABB fan.) But no, his particular PSA would be about motorcycle safety.

I remember a few years ago at the Oscars somebody said something to Meryl Streep about having 14 nominations and she said, “I know, the same as my dress size!” and I wanted to go get in the car and drive to where she was and hug her. And I’m not even a huggy person.

Wouldn’t it also be a Title IX compliance issue, since the employer is a higher ed institution? Unless their students aren’t receiving any federal financial aid, that’s a BFD right there.

I was born in the 1950s, and my great-grandmother told my mom not to get too attached until I made it through my second summer.

It’s a sad loss to me that now kids on road trips are so often plugged into their own music. How will we indoctrinate them? And you haven’t had a road trip until you’ve had a road trip with Little Feat blasting, preferably Waiting for Columbus.

I salute you from just a few years behind! I still have a few to give, but I’m definitely rationing them out at this point.

I know! Reprehensible as the message was, that is some gorgeous display type.

It’s like a rule that if someone’s going to talk about poop, you have to cast a blonde lady with a British accent. You know, to make it classy.

Me too! Breezing through those questions is high on the list of Long Dry Spell benefits, along with how easy it is to make the bed and letting body hair do its thing undisturbed.

Star isn’t nearly enough. Mad applause.

They’re all related, right? The version I heard was that Mothman was an apparition of Chief Cornstalk, warning people about the bridge collapse, because he’d set it in motion with a curse way back in the day but in the many years since had decided he didn’t want more innocent people to die. One of my in-laws had…

I’m so sorry. It’s a hard loss, your mom, especially a great one—I got to keep mine longer than you, but there’s no good time.

That was AWFUL. It was like having to choose between the sun and the air. But Tay is the sun and the sun rules over everything.

How sad. Belated condolences. And a fire, too—gosh, terrible.

I do need to place one condition on my assent: He has to learn when to spell “everyday” as two words.

Not long after McDonald’s started serving fancy coffee, I was road tripping and stopped at one in a sketchy area kind of late—I needed some coffee and it’s what was open. I order a vanilla latte and the young guy taking my order gives a huge sigh and yells back, “Jerry! There’s somebody here wants a vanilla latte,…

Same here. It’s like a carbon offset.

I guess it’s regional, but all I have to do is get on the two-lane and find an old-school country AM station. Some Hank, some Patsy, some George.