Oh, I guarantee it. The only thing to talk about would be how fast the death penalty could be imposed.

"SIGN MY GUESTBOOK!!!" Oh, yes. All that language. "Check out" was the only verb that would do. "Check out our Home Page on the World Wide Web!"

Feeling badass because I got to use the punch-card lab. The sweet little two-tone noise of my original Mac as it was reading those newfangled 3.5-inch floppy disks (PLEASE REINSERT DISC TWO). San Francisco font. Figuring out coding errors in WordStar. Bitnet lists. First time on the web, being knocked out because I…

I hate to bring up the old cake-vs-pie thing, but its difficulty in being crafted into disturbing images like this is another good reason to give your heart to pie.

An actor friend, who passed away a few years ago, once hit the bathroom before an important audition and ended up with a little spot like that. He ditched the piece he'd prepared and instead did an improv monologue that started out "I know that right now you're all looking at the front of my pants." He went on to…

I'm in. Never could stand her writing. Could we trade her to Canada for Margaret Atwood?

I know! I bet God gets mighty tired of sitting through all the supposed prayers that are actually requests to validate somebody's awful judgment. I'd be hitting the "smite" button all day long if that was me.

I am bracing myself for the news of her book deal.

I'm so sorry. That's some of the hardest grief I've ever experienced.

I know! I saw too late that it was a repeat. But it's that good.

I put my kid on a bungee leash once when he was little and in a running-off phase. We were in a department store and he started running and stretched it WAY out, and just about the time I was feeling like a winner because I WAS IN CONTROL, he somehow unsnapped the thing and it came whizzing back to smack me in the…

I can't even imagine how hard that must be, but I'm sending warm thoughts and hopes for all good things for you and your son.

YES. I was just coming here to post this. Legs, arms, 'stache, all of it. I got one years ago and have never looked back.

Made me cry too. So sweet!

I'm not even a fan of public proposals, but this kills me every time.

I'm happy to see other folks embracing the semicolon love while rejecting the "Ooh, look, I'm a grammar Nazi" thing. I work as an editor so I'm a stickler when it's appropriate and a grammar hippie otherwise. (And according to my son I am the only person in the history of the world to use a semicolon in a text…

I have to admit that "cheerfully déclassé" is a fine turn of phrase.

Tony Campolo, a progressive Baptist minister (really, such a thing exists!) has been known to stand in the pulpit of a church or seminary chapel and say "While you were sleeping last night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to malnutrition, and most of you don't give a shit. What's even worse is that…

I watched two seasons of The Flavor of Love like it was my religion. No stones to throw.