Him: I really "like" you and think you are "pretty" and now please touch my "boner"

I knew I wasn't worthy of this man when I stopped reading at the word airplane in quotes.

The blatant abuse of quotes means we're obviously dealing with this guy:

HANDS OFF HIM, LAURA HE'S MINE.

I have the strongest urge to email this guy a link to the Chicago Manuel of Style.

Doesn't FAQ mean FREQUENTLY asked? I doubt any of these qualify!

Huh. I was wondering why there seemed to be a shortage of quotation marks lately.

I get the feeling that some people really regret the fact that you aren't able to buy wives the way you'd pick out a car or computer.

A couple of years back a study was done which compared the level of aggression of "dangerous breeds" with that of Golden Retrievers. They found no difference at all when it came to dog on human aggression. After the study was published most european countries lifted their ban on these breeds. And aren't I glad that…

To throw in to the wonderful pitbull argument: this is my orange cat. he is quite literally afraid of life. if you move into a new place and set the room up EXACTLY THE SAME - he will still hide under the bed and only come out for one hour (at about 3 in the morning) for food. Just from the trauma of actually moving.…

POST IT NOW MOTHERFUCKER

Oh, sure- everyone goes on about this, but no-one ever shares the videos of my Morris dancing group performing Echo and the Bunnymen's "Bring on the Dancing Horses."

You go, Quirky Chick!This girl has excellent taste in music. I love this song so much.

HEY—OOOOOOOOO!

This is my pitty boy, Robert, asleep on my knee (please ignore the mess in the background). The second picture, if I can get it to load, is what he looked like when we found him. He was beaten and starving—I pulled him out of the middle of a highway because he was trying to eat some trash. In the three years we've had…

Pit bulls are the best. This is Betty (full name: "Whoa Black Betty Bam-a-Lam") I adopted her about a month ago from local no-kill shelter. She's a 1-year old female black pittie. We're in process of training for the Good Canine Citizen test and eventual therapy dog.

Here's our little guy. Found on the street in Brooklyn just before Xmas. He weighed only 35 lbs (he's 50 lbs now), had ringworm and open cuts/sores all over him. He's a sweet boy, very loyal and gentle, and he shares our house with two Italian greyhounds and a cat, plus assorted people.

I want that therapy pit bull. I want to sit on a couch and tell a pitty all my problems.