You can stop now, Midwestern Christians are not an oppressed group.

I was a little sympathetic to outraged coffee lady, at least at first, because the writer mentions the speaker was old and awful. It's possible the lady didn't hear "cafe latte" but heard "coffee latte" or...okay, I'm reaching, although I would have thought the same exact thing about cafe latte versus coffee latte.

I'm just going to share this story from last Saturday. A good money-making night- the restaurant is packed, we're trying to turn over tables. Of course half of them are fucking campers. So when another 8 top of 40 something year olds roll in, I'm begging my manager to give them to me. Bright eyed and with an imaginary…

"I really hate to be that guy and to stick up for coffee latte lady"

Nope. In America, at any rate, cafe latte's are made with espresso, whereas coffee is just...filter coffee, no special bean or brewing type. Espresso is pressurized during brewing, meaning you get a stronger brew with less water. Coffee uses a lot more water. If you make a "coffee" latte, it will taste much MUCH…

The customer is always right! If they tell you to grill it until it's tender, you grill that shit until its fucking tender, asshole!

I need you to know that BCO makes me look forward to Mondays. Not just NOT DREAD Mondays, but actually LOOK FORWARD to them. I don't tell people this. When I walk around on Mondays humming, smiling, with a spring in my step, I'd prefer they just think I'm batshit crazy, because that way they'll leave me alone to…

I have dark black hair. Long dark black hair. But when I was a teenager I was not happy having long dark black hair. However It's hard to lighten black hair when you don't know what you are doing and silly me I thought you could bleach your hair with actual bleach. So I went to the cupboard and got the javex and…

Check this part out:

You found a unicorn.

So the McDonald's story now has me wondering how many of these stories—told from the server's perspective—about really dumb customers who don't know there are different ways to cook eggs or whatever are really just stories about customers who are on drugs.

People who are "honest" and "tell it like it is" are really just assholes.

Yes! I recommend the DVD commentary they did together for Resident Evil. It is amazing.

I loved it. I loved that she got to be cold, awful, and just as Patrick Bateman-y as men get to always be AND she got away with it. It was glorious.

Actually, the reveal of Snuffleupagus was to teach children that if they told the truth to adults, adults would believe them.

What? Snuffie was always my favorite.. I had no idea! Then again I didn't get much Seasame Street when I was a kid.

The only thing I hate more than vanity plates are anti-choice bumper stickers. "Choose Life, You're Mother Did." EAT ME. It's almost always affixed to a 1987 white Dodge caravan with duct tape holding up the bumper.

Any longtime viewer of Sesame Street knows about anxiety already from Big Bird, who thought he was hallucinating Snuffleupagus for YEARS until the good folks at PBS decided to allow other muppets to be able to see him too.

Is there a Kardashian filter that removes all personality from your photo?